Posts Tagged ‘humility’

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Maybe I Just Can’t See

Friday, January 13th, 2012
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I met Kelli several weeks ago. In her early twenties she struggled through a tough battle with cancer. As she endured multiple rounds of chemotherapy Kelli consistently prayed two prayers—that she would be able to resume her passion as a triathlete and that the doctors’ pronouncement that she would never be able to have children would be proven wrong.

The cancer and chemo completely zapped her physically. Years after being declared cancer-free, Kelli could barely walk any significant distance. Doctors confirmed that she was unable to become pregnant. She was of course grateful for healing, but wondered about the answers to her other prayers.

When I met Kelli, sixteen years after the treatments ended, she had just completed her first triathlon. She beat her “dream time” by more than fifteen minutes. Perhaps she was inspired by a special cheering section that consisted of her husband and the two young children to whom she gave birth.

I believe God answers our prayers. I’ve heard very smart people describe those answers as YES, NO, and WAIT. I think there’s another possibility.

I’ve been thinking about the notion of a one-degree miracle. Perhaps God answered Kelli’s prayers immediately with a one-degree miracle. Perhaps her path changed and it took sixteen years to perceive the radical, but gradual, alteration that led her to a place of such great joy.

Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19

God often works like that. God promised a child to Abraham and Sarah when they were probably in their seventies, and they waited nearly twenty-five years for Isaac’s birth. The Israelites entered the land of milk and honey more than six hundred years after God’s promise to Abraham. Simeon served his entire life in the Temple before he beheld the Messiah. God seems to operate in terms of long-term trajectories rather than sudden u-turns.

So if He doesn’t seem to be responding, perhaps the answer isn’t NO or WAIT. Maybe He’s doing the new thing we seek right now, but we can’t see His answer from our limited perspective. Maybe He wants us to trust and follow the path of a one-degree miracle.

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2008-2012 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

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Posted in Ability to Overcome, Anxiety, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, New Beginning, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Prayer, Responsibility, Step 2, Step 3 | Comments Off

What kind of an apologizer are you?

Monday, November 28th, 2011
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Good apologizers are humble, willing to take honest inventory of their lives and actions, and willing to do what is necessary to make things right with God and others.

Bad apologizers are filled with pride and an unwillingness to admit wrongdoing. Their theme song is, “Sin in others I can see, but praise God there’s none in me!”

What kind of an apologizer are you?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !


Copyright 2011, Chaplain Michael Clark
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Chaplain Clark is a Speaker and Writer,
Addiction Counselor/Professional
as well as a Recovery Support Specialist
Shadows of the Cross Ministries, Prison and Recovery Ministry

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Posted in Attitudes, Choices, General Recovery, New Beginning, Responsibility, Step 8, Step 9 | Comments Off

What is Your Story?

Friday, October 21st, 2011
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I’m constantly amazed by the individual stories we hear from people as we talk about hope. I think there’s a lesson for us in the depth and variety of experiences.

It’s easy to divide the world into two groups—those who face some kind of challenge, and those who don’t. It’s pointless—there’s nobody in the second group.

Everybody’s got a story of confronting adversity. Some struggles are visible, most aren’t.

We’ve heard from folks who dismiss their personal issues because “they’re not as bad as yours.” Some have trouble admitting their hidden dilemmas because they are afraid of appearing like they lack faith. Often they’ve adopted a tough exterior shell to hide their vulnerability.

One amazing aspect of telling my story is that it seems to open doors and break down walls. It’s as though one person’s vulnerability makes it a bit easier to lower carefully-maintained barriers.

I believe that’s one of many incredible facets of a relationship with Jesus. He’s been there; He’s felt the pain, disappointment, and discouragement. He freely and willingly exposed Himself to ridicule and suffering, refusing to hide behind His identity as God.

He knows that everybody’s got a story. He knows those stories, and walks through every messy moment with us. And He loves us anyway.

That’s a story worth telling.

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

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Posted in Ability to Overcome, Attitudes, Choices, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, New Beginning, Pain, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Step 12, Step 2 | Comments Off

Is it Accountability or Dependability?

Wednesday, September 14th, 2011
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Accountability is defined as:  Being obliged to answer to an authority for your actions

Dependability is defined as:  Worthy of reliance or trust

What are you learning about accountability in your own recovery?
What exactly do you need to be accountable for? and to whom do you need to be accountable?

I thought that if I was dependable that was the same as being accountable.
People could depend on me so I was “OK”. Right?
WRONG

I was not accountable. I did not answer to the higher authority of God.I was doing things that were definitely not pleasing to him. Although they were pleasing to myself (self-destructive as they were) it was not until I understood what accountability was that recovery started to become a reality for me.

I fell into the trap of thinking if I just prayed God would fix me. But those prayers went unanswered and recovery was elusive.

That went on for years.

It did not truly assume responsibility until I learned what accountability was all about. I had to become accountable to God for everything that passed my lips: every fork full, every drink, every word I uttered.

I had to think, were these actions glorifying God? or were they just temporarily making me feel better? Of course when I was eating, drinking or saying things for my own pleasure –  the guilt and shame would always follow shortly thereafter. But when I ate and drank and spoke in ways that were pleasing to God — when I was accountable — there was no guilt and shame. And eventually there was a joy that arose from these new behaviors and habits.

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

~ Obie
Executive Director, Christians in Recovery

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Posted in Ability to Overcome, Attitudes, Choices, General Recovery, New Beginning, Responsibility, Step 1 | Comments Off

Pray with Courage

Thursday, April 14th, 2011
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Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went home.
And in his upper room, with his windows open toward Jerusalem,
he knelt down on his knees three times that day,
and prayed and gave thanks before his God,
as was his custom since early days (Daniel 6:10, NKJV).

How important is it to teach and lead our children in the ways of the Lord from their earliest days? Daniel’s example confirms that it is vital.

The above verse tells us that when Daniel learned that the edict had been signed, proclaiming that anyone who worshiped or prayed to anyone other than King Darius would be thrown into the lions’ den, Daniel immediately went to his room and prayed—not privately but openly where there was no doubt he would be seen.

Courageous? Sure. But I believe it had more to do with his practiced commitment to follow the God he had served from his youngest years. Daniel didn’t suddenly decide to defy the king and to pray in a prominent place when he heard of the certain outcome, nor did he cower in a corner of his room, begging God for deliverance and protection. Because he had long since learned to worship and pray, openly and without compromise despite the consequences, he immediately reverted to what he already knew was right—and then acted on it.

That’s the kind of faith I want, don’t you? I want to be so steeped in my relationship with the Lord that each time I hear good news, bad news, or no news, I go straight to the place where I regularly meet with God, and then spend time in worship and prayer as if nothing had changed. For that’s the kind of faith that will not bend under trial or testing—even under threat of being thrown into the lions’ den.

If we didn’t receive that sort of training or example as children, it’s never too late to learn and practice it now. And it is certainly never too late to model it to our children, regardless of their age. May we all be like Daniel, committed to bold, uncompromising worship and prayer, no matter the outcome—for even if we end up in the lions’ den, we know Emmanuel will be there with us.

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2011 Kathi Macias, all rights reserved. Used by permission.
Kathi Macias is a multi-award winning writer who has authored 30 books.
“Beyond Me. Living a You-first Life in a Me-first World”

and


“Mothers of the Bible Speak to Mothers of Today”

She also writes novels:
No Greater Love
More than Conquerors
The author can be reached at: http://www.kathimacias.com

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Posted in Ability to Overcome, Anxiety, Assurance, Attitudes, Choices, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Step 3, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

The Bible: How Do I Know What It Means?

Monday, March 28th, 2011
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How do you apply the Bible to your life?

I have a sad confession. I always figured the whole point of reading the Bible was me.

I thought it was about my life, learning how to live better, do the right things, stuff like that. So my first big revelation about the Bible was that it’s, well, God’s revelation of Himself. The Bible Is About God.

Imagine that. It’s not all about me.

That idea took some adjustment—it’s tough, removing yourself from the center of the universe. I had to re-learn how to understand the Bible. I’m pretty sure I still don’t really get it, but over the past few months I’ve been trying to summarize my simpleton’s guide to interpreting Scripture.

I’ve learned that interpretation is a three-step process.

Translation

The key thing I learned here is to remember that the scriptures weren’t written in modern English. Subtleties are often lost in translation, so real understanding requires some digging.

Exegesis

I need to understand the original audience and what the writing meant to them. I’m not real big on ancient history, so I’d rather just skip this step. But if I really want to hear God’s word, that’s not an option.

Hermeneutics

I love big, obscure words. They’re a great substitute for actually knowing something. In my Bible study group I can toss out the term hermeneutical theory and sound like a genius. Of course there’s a risk—someone might ask what it means. I’m sure it’s an urban myth that hermeneutics was originally invented by some German guy named Herman.

As I understand it, hermeneutics generally involves applying Scripture to specific situations. It’s got its own specialized techniques and schools of thought, but for me the basic understanding is pretty simple: this application is the third step in the process. You don’t get to skip the first two parts.

Failure to adhere to this basic interpretation structure accounts for many errors, misunderstandings, and flawed arguments. It’s just not possible to correctly apply Scripture without accounting for issues associated with original language and audience.

At first this realization was discouraging. I figured I’d never know enough to really understand the Bible.

But then I realized that, like most important things in life, it’s a process. I don’t have to be an expert, but I do have to be willing to ask, to study, to admit when something doesn’t make sense.

I think God wants us to understand. I’m amazed at what He shows me when I show up with an open heart, when I drop my agendas, when I try even a little to listen to what He’s saying.

I think that might have been part of what Jesus was talking about (Luke 11:10) when He said, “For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

I think that promise is still good.

How do you know what the Bible means in your life?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

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Is This God’s Thing Or Mine?

Friday, March 18th, 2011
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Have you ever asked that question?

So I’m talking to a friend about Journey4Hope and he says, “I prayed about this and I believe God wants me to jump in and help.” And my skeptical bone starts tingling.

I wonder a lot about my skeptical side, that part of me that tends to look a little sideways at ideas that seem obvious to others. And one of the notions that tickles my skeptical bone is “this is God’s will.”

God told me

Does that ring a bell? Someone has an idea, a vision, a big plan, and they’ve prayed about it and they’re certain it’s ordained by God. And that’s pretty much their argument for moving forward.

How do you argue with that? No matter how crazy or illogical or ill-conceived, an idea from God has to be trusted, right? If “God tells you to do it” you can’t really refuse.

I’ve experienced that certainty once, when I wrote and published the story of Relentless Grace. The way the story came together made no sense. Writing the story with no experience was totally illogical. Publishing the book with no background was downright crazy. But it was absolutely the right thing, and in retrospect I believe it was a process guided by the Spirit’s hand.

That doesn’t mean it’s gone smoothly or that it’s been a huge financial success. By most business standards, publishing the book wasn’t a good choice. But the book has touched a number of lives. I’m absolutely certain it was the right thing to do.

How do you know?

There’s a big spectrum of thought about God’s involvement in everyday events. I know sincere, committed people who pray about the smallest choices. I know others who are pretty sure God wants them to make those decisions. I don’t claim to know who’s right, though I guess I lean toward the second view.

Please don’t misunderstand. I absolutely believe God speaks into our hearts. I believe people receive visions and signs from the Spirit.

But I also think we’re susceptible to a human temptation to transform “our thing” into “God’s thing.” I think we sometimes use God’s will as an excuse to do what we wanted to do anyway, or to abdicate responsibility for the consequences of our choices.

So I’m kind of reluctant to use “God told me to do it” as a justification for my choices.

I have no clue if God wants me to ride a bike 1500 miles. I usually have this sense that He cares less about what I do than about the heart behind my actions. I think He wants me to use my gifts in service and love, and that perhaps the details aren’t what matters.

Maybe God has a sense of humor. Maybe He thinks the idea of an old bald guy in a wheelchair riding a hand cycle 1500 miles is silly. Maybe the Trinity is sitting around their living room chuckling at me. Actually, I kind of like that image

But I know they understand the heart behind the project. I know they’ll use the story to inspire and touch people. I know they’ll be with me along the way.

It’s my job to decide, and then to do my best. I know that, no matter what happens with this project, God will use it for good.

Have you experienced skepticism about “God’s will” in everyday decisions? Have you ever been certain He was guiding you in a particular direction?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

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Posted in Attitudes, Choices, Faith, General Recovery, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Step 3, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

A Question About Service

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
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Has a question ever told you something important about yourself?

Last time I said I love questions (God And Tough Questions). That doesn’t mean the questions are always comfortable or that I’m happy with my responses.

Encouraging real questions means embracing uncertainty and imperfection. When you work with adolescents you learn that you often have to reconsider a spontaneous reaction.

One of the really enjoyable aspects of my public speaking gigs is Q&A time. Recently someone asked a great question that I sort-of answered at the time.

Out of all the people who helped with your recovery, how did you select the characters you included in Relentless Grace?

Wow. So many people helped and supported me, put up with my miserable attitude, and stuck with me when I tried so hard to give up. What an insightful question—what distinguished the handful whose stories make up this amazing story?

I could be flippant and say I included the most memorable or outrageous incidents. That would get a chuckle from the audience, and I guess it’s partly true. But as I thought more I recognized a more significant distinction.

Help or Serve

Thinking back through the story, I noticed what I perceived as a difference between “help” and “serve.”

Lots of people helped. They carried stuff and fixed stuff. They did things for me that I couldn’t do for myself. I appreciate all of it, though I sure didn’t show it at the time.

But it seems like “helping” comes from a position of strength and superiority. You’re bigger and stronger, you have more resources, and you’re willing to help.

Help seems to involve dependence—I need your help because you have something I don’t. I can’t do it without you.

Service feels different. A servant willingly accepts a position of weakness or inferiority. Consider Jesus washing His disciples’ feet (John 13).

Here’s a beautiful video of this demonstration of service. (If you can’t see the video, click here.)

I’m not sure that helping and serving always look different from the outside. I think it might be less about what happens and more about the heart behind it.

I don’t think Jesus came to help me, even though I need all the help I can get.

I think He came to serve. I think that’s what it means to follow Him.

Do “helping” and “serving” seem different to you? Do you see yourself as helper or servant?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

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Posted in Attitudes, Choices, General Recovery, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Step 12, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

Jesus Says “Sorry” Is A Verb

Saturday, February 19th, 2011
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“I’m sorry.” Why are those two little words so difficult to say?

I made a mistake. I need to apologize. It’s not that hard.

So why is it so hard?

Maybe there’s a better question. Why is it so hard to say I’m sorry and really mean it? Or even better, what does it mean to really mean it?

That’s the real question: what does “being sorry” really mean?

Apologize … and MEAN it

I know this will shock you, but I occasionally broke the rules as a kid. I recall my mom telling me to apologize to someone. I’d comply grudgingly, and she’d say, “Now go back and say it like you MEAN it.”

Dad was a bit more concrete. “If you’re not sorry, I’ll MAKE you sorry!” Mostly an idle threat, but it worked on a little kid.

Sorry was about feeling bad. Sorry meant regret and shame and fear. If you felt enough of that stuff, then you were really sorry.

Jesus didn’t say much about feeling sorry, but He did talk about repentance. In Luke 13:3 He says, “…But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”

Especially coming from Jesus, that’s the sort of thing you take seriously. Repent or die? I’ll feel bad, guilty, scared—I’ll feel guilty and regretful, I’ll beat myself up. Whatever it takes, I’ll be as sorry as possible to avoid that sort of punishment.

Huh?

Except—that doesn’t really fit with the rest of Jesus’ message. He doesn’t seem to be about instilling regret, shame, and fear.

In John 8 the religious leaders confronted Jesus with a woman caught in adultery. After He dealt with the leaders, He was alone with the woman. At the end of their conversation, He doesn’t embarrass or rebuke her or tell her to slink away in shame. Instead He simply instructs her, “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Maybe Biblical repentance isn’t about feeling bad. Maybe it’s not a feeling at all.

Maybe repent is a verb.

Biblical repentance means “to turn.” Jesus wants me to turn away from sin and toward God. He wants me to adopt God’s perspective. He doesn’t want me to feel bad—He wants me to leave my life of sin.

In 2 Corinthians 7 Paul discusses an issue of correction with the church. He explains that his intent wasn’t to harm them. Then in verse 10 he says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”

Godly sorrow brings repentance that … leaves no regret.

Mom was right

Now that I think about it, that’s really what my mom wanted as well. She wasn’t interested in making me feel ashamed, but she did want me to turn away from wrong behavior.

I still need to apologize.

“I’m sorry.” I acknowledge and accept responsibility for my actions. I want to learn from my mistakes and make better choices. I want to look in God’s direction, not my own. I want a new beginning.

I want to move forward in faith, hope, and love.

Do you struggle to repent without feeling guilty or ashamed?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

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Posted in Abuse, Attitudes, Choices, Family, General Recovery, New Beginning, Responsibility, Step 10, Step 4, Step 5, Step 6, Step 7, Step 8, Step 9, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

Please Don’t Make Me Start Over

Friday, February 11th, 2011
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How do you escape the fate of Sisyphus?

One of my first “real” jobs as a kid was a two-week gig at the Iowa State Fair. Each morning I showed up at 6 a.m. A supervisor handed me a sealed metal can with a slot in its top and assigned me to one of the carnival attractions to collect tickets. Twelve never-ending hours in the sweltering Midwest humidity, grabbing tickets and stuffing them through that slot.

My dad got me that job. Every morning he’d deposit me at the gate and say, “Hey, it’s a new day.” I think he wanted me to understand why I needed to study hard and go to college. It worked.

Endless, mindless, purposeless effort, each day exactly like the previous and the next—those two weeks offered a glimpse of the horrible eternal fate to which Sisyphus was condemned.

Renew…really?

The Bible is filled with promises of renewal. Paul writes (2 Corinthians 4), “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

He also encourages renewal (Romans 12): Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

And I say: please, anything but that! Please don’t make me start over. Please, not another day just like the last, filling the same can with the same tickets from the same faceless, sweaty hands.

I don’t wanna!

If “renewal” literally means going back to the beginning, count me out. I agree with Nicodemus:

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”

“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!” John 3:3-4

If renewal means starting over, I’d prefer another option. I do not want to do junior high again!

Of course Jesus wasn’t speaking literally. His continued conversation with Nicodemus clearly shows that He’s describing spiritual re-birth.

Circle or Spiral?

Spiritual renewal doesn’t mean going back to the beginning, starting the same journey from the same place. That’s the pointless life of Sisyphus, an endless circle leading nowhere.

God offers the opportunity to start fresh without starting over. Spiritual renewal does involve a new beginning, but it also means starting from an improved foundation.

God’s renewal isn’t a circle; it’s more like an upward spiral. I get to release my biases and regrets, but retain new insights. Jesus invites me to develop increased wisdom and improved discernment—while always approaching God with childlike wonder.

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:2-4

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:11-12

Following Jesus means embracing the mystery of becoming like little children while putting aside the ways of childhood.

Renewal—a new beginning without starting over—I’m in!

How about you?

Which is harder for you—becoming childlike or setting aside childish ways?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

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Posted in Ability to Overcome, Assurance, Attitudes, Choices, Forgiveness of God, General Recovery, New Beginning, Renewal, Responsibility, Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

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