Posts Tagged ‘Abuse’

Rejoicing… after being flogged

Friday, April 15th, 2016

REJOICING

The apostles were called in front of the Sanhedrin and ordered to stop proclaiming the gospel.

To reinforce the point, the men were flogged before they were released. Of course the apostles defied the rulers and continued to preach, but I’m stuck on this little verse.

The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. (Acts 5:41)

Rejoicing…after being flogged. I’m not sure I could do that. Could you?

It’s awfully easy to pray for persecuted Christians from the safety of American religious freedom. And it’s awfully easy, in the safety of American religious freedom, to label any perceived slight as persecution.

But how many of us would sign up to be flogged…and then rejoice?

Following Jesus isn’t always the safe, easy deal we make it out to be. It’s unlikely I’ll ever be flogged because of my faith. But this incident has me wondering. I hope I’d be courageous if I had to stand for my beliefs.

I’m not sure I’d rejoice.

Maybe it’s a good week to pray for those who face religious persecution…and to be grateful.

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
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Copyright by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance
. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

Spiritual Abuse by Spouses or Partners

Thursday, April 14th, 2016

Spiritual abuse is one form of abuse a spouse or partner uses to exercise power and control over his wife or partner.

If she works outside of the home, he refuses to let her tithe on her own income.

He makes fun of her if she reads the Bible or another spiritual book.

When his wife reads the Bible to the children or prays with them, he enters the room, repeatedly distracts them, and laughs about it.

If she plays a Christian hymn or chorus on the piano, he screams at her to stop. He tells her she can’t play “that type of music” when he’s home.

He uses foul language and takes God’s name in vain in front of her and the children.

He talks about other Christians and says he doesn’t know a single Christian who is fun to be with including his wife. He says they’re all hypocrites anyway, and that’s why he won’t go to church.

He claims his right to say and do what he wants because he is the head of the household. He then quotes Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”

It seems strange that the abuser who knows Ephesians 5:22 so well avoids Ephesians 5:21 that says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

The batterer also ignores Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” He selects one verse to justify his abuse and ignores the rest of the Bible. He treats the Bible as if it were a buffet where he can pick and choose what he wants and leave the rest.

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Not a member of CIR yet? Join us Today!Copyright by Yvonne Ortega, LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of
“Moving from Broken to Beautiful: 9 Life Lessons to Help You Move Forward”
Download her One Sheet at http://www.yvonneortega.com.
If you would like to have her speak for your organization or church, please contact her through
her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com

How Can You Avoid Being Deceived?

Friday, January 15th, 2016

“How could I have believed all of Pete’s lies? Janie said through tears. She sat across from me in my office and twisted the shoulder straps on her purse.

“He said he loved me and wanted to marry me.” Janie looked at the floor and shook her head. “He told me he lost his job because he defended mistreated employees.”

“I sense your shame and guilt for believing Pete. He must have sounded convincing.”

Between sobs, she said, “He sure did. He said he would have more money but he had house payments and utilities in his home state and the apartment rent here. All the time we dated, he had a girlfriend in his home caring for his children. She paid his utility bills and enough to cover the rent.”

“You didn’t completely believe him, Janie. I want to congratulate you for taking your time in the relationship and not marrying him.”

With a smile, she said, “At least I did that much right.”

How about you? With online dating services, social media, singles events, etc. you could meet someone like Pete too. How can you avoid it?

The Test of Time
First, take your time. Don’t rush into a serious relationship or marry on impulse. If someone tries to rush you, take it as a danger signal.

His Family, Friends, and Coworkers
Secondly, get to know the person’s family, friends, and coworkers. See how he treats them. Observe their conversations and behavior. If he makes excuses to keep you from them, consider that trouble.

Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers
Third, let him meet your family, friends, and coworkers. Ask them later for an honest opinion and listen. They care about you.

Social Media
Fourth, if he is on social media, compare what he tells you against the social media profiles and posts. Check his friends or connections.

Criminal Background Check
Fifth, do an online free criminal background check.

Prayer
Last but not least, pray daily. Ask God for wisdom and discernment.

2 Thessalonians 2:3: “Don’t let anyone deceive you in any way.”

Dear God, keep me from deceitful personal and business relationships. Amen.

Application: What will you do this week to avoid being deceived?

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Not a member of CIR yet? Join us Today!Copyright by Yvonne Ortega, LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of
“Moving from Broken to Beautiful: 9 Life Lessons to Help You Move Forward”
Download her One Sheet at http://www.yvonneortega.com.
If you would like to have her speak for your organization or church, please contact her through
her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com

FREE recovery magazine “The Gabriel”

Friday, December 18th, 2015

The latest issue of CIR’s FREE recovery magazine “The Gabriel” is now available for Download

You are encouraged to download this, print it out or put on a diskette and share it with your loved ones, church, pastor and/or recovery group. It is jam packed with inspiration, tips, resources and information for everyone in recovery

Why I Don’t Rescue Others

Friday, October 23rd, 2015

rescueEver feel like you needed to rescue someone?

As a new teacher, I was sure I had a lot to offer. The students needed me. They needed what I had. I was the outside expert parachuting into their world to save them from their ignorance and give them what they couldn’t possibly get for themselves.

As my career progressed I discovered I was working with a horribly flawed model. My students didn’t need to be saved by an expert. They needed a partner who brought some resources and skills to the learning process.

And like every good teacher, I learned and grew from the relationship at least as much as my students.

I’ve been reading a lot about how to address injustice issues like poverty and racism. Like me as a new teacher, our solutions usually involve some version of the outside experts swooping in with their version of a solution.

The best solutions involve relationship in which there’s acknowledgement that everyone’s broken and in need of reconciliation. Local folks contribute both ideas and resources, and the entire process is a partnership. It’s about being servants, not saviors.

And there’s never a sense that we’re “bringing Jesus” into communities in which He’s always been active.

I’ve learned that we tend to greatly oversimplify issues of social justice. Poverty, for example, is a good deal more than simple lack of resources. Without understanding, the best intentions may cause harm.

Victims of injustice already have a Savior. They need a partner.

If you want to learn more, I strongly recommend this book: When Helping Hurts

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Not a member of CIR yet? Join us Today!Dixon
Copyright by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance
. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

You are not Invisible

Thursday, September 17th, 2015

invisibleHagar was a slave and and she was in a mess. (Genesis ch. 16 & 21)

Some of it was her fault, some of it wasn’t. But now she had run away into the wilderness. Pregnant and alone, she waited by a stream to see what might happen. An angel of God appeared and delivered a surprising promise. He told her to return to camp and submit to her mistress.

Hagar was amazed that God would even acknowledge a lowly servant. She called Him “the God who sees me.”

Hagar understood a central truth about God’s character: He’s the God who sees every person equally.

For the last couple of years I’ve been honored to spend some time with men who are recovering from addiction. I’ve learned more from them than they’ve learned from me, and one of the most important things I’ve learned is the pervasive nature of addiction in society. These guys were always here, but they were invisible to me and to much of my suburban culture. Sadly, I think they’re sort-of invisible in my church.

They’re not invisible to God.

This got me wondering about other sort-of invisible people. The door’s open, nobody’s keeping them out, but they aren’t there. Or they are, but they’re on the edges and it’s clear they aren’t really part of the circle.

Homeless people.

Poor people.

Folks without much education (churches look a LOT like schools).

People whose life doesn’t look like the American dream.

I could go on but you get the idea. Many churches just aren’t all that diverse. Those who don’t fit the profile become invisible. We know they exist, but we don’t see them.

Maybe that’s why Jesus hung out with them. He was tired of the religious leaders looking past them and talking about them as though they weren’t in the room. He made them visible because He was the God who sees.

Invisible people make us uncomfortable. It’s hard for me to admit how often I pretend not to see, but it’s a sad truth.

I can’t change that all at once, and there’s no sense beating myself up. So I try to see one or two a little better and go from there.

I trust that the God who sees will see my heart, and help.

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Not a member of CIR yet? Join us Today!Dixon
Copyright by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance
. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

“You Will Be Rebuilt”

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2015

Holidays, loss of a loved one, a life-threatening illness, financial problems, a major move, building a new home, or a family crisis can leave us worried or emotionally drained.

Earlier today, a woman talked to me about the death of her seventeen-year-old daughter. I grieved for her and her husband in the loss of their child at a tender age. Since I lost my only child, I could identify with that mother and her pain.

A friend shared recently about her diagnosis of breast cancer. As a fourteen-year breast cancer survivor, I recalled the days of aggressive chemotherapy and radiation and prayed for her.

A month ago, another woman told me she struggles with an upcoming divorce. She needs a job and worries about the children.

What about you? Are you in the midst of an illness, a loss, a major move, or a family crisis? How are you coping?

Will you turn to food, shopping, alcohol, prescription drugs, gambling, or another form of self-medication? Will you withdraw or give up?

Your heavenly Father loves you and longs to rebuild your life. Give him a chance.

Jeremiah 31:4: “I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt . . . Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful.”

Dear God, taking up a tambourine and dancing again sound impossible. Please help me. Amen.

Application: What will you do this week to allow God to rebuild your life?

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Not a member of CIR yet? Join us Today!Copyright by Yvonne Ortega, LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer.
If you would like to have her speak for your organization or church, please contact her through
her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com

Turning the Other Cheek…. a Choice?

Friday, July 10th, 2015

“So I guess you’re gonna tell us we have to turn the other cheek.”

The sarcasm puddled on the table. A guy who’s lived on lobster boats doesn’t easily buy the notion of non-violnece.

We were talking about fear, and I said “He hit me” doesn’t mean “I have to hit him back.”

The guy kept going. “So I’m supposed to just let people assault me and my family, right?”

“That’s not what I said. This isn’t about ‘turn the other cheek’ at all.

“It’s about the words ‘have to.’ I ‘have to’ hit him back is a lie. You don’t ‘have to’ do anything.”

“Okay,” he replied, “what’s the alternative?”

“It’s simple. You choose.”

The room got quiet. Another guy chuckled. “So can I choose to hit back?”

I had them, and they knew it. Finally somebody said, “Sure. But you gotta take responsibility for it.”

I asked him to elaborate.

“I can’t be like a little kid…he made me do it. I choose to fight, or not. I choose to drink, or not.”

The first man wasn’t giving up. “In real life, it’s not that easy…”

“You’re right. Life ain’t about bein’ easy.

“But either you choose, or someone else chooses for you.”

Then I turn to the original question. “Turn the other cheek or defend yourself–your choice. You listen to Jesus and learn what He really meant. Then you decide and take responsibility for your decision.”

Simple. Not easy.

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Not a member of CIR yet? Join us Today!Dixon
Copyright by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

Forgive and Forget?

Friday, June 12th, 2015

“I can’t forget how my dad treats my mother,” Bridget screamed in her counseling session. “So how can I forgive him?”

“Why not take this situation one step at a time?” I asked the young woman.

Bridget raised her brows and said she didn’t understand.

I suggested she first walk through the truth of her father’s verbal and physical abuse of her mother and how much that hurt her.

Her eyes moistened with tears, and soon she sobbed. “He scared me. I hated all the commotion. Worst of all, Mom’s taken it for years.”

Bridget shook and cried again. She said that her dad also mistreats the kids. “I can’t stand his screaming, cursing, and temper tantrums.”

With a gentle tone, I explained that forgiveness is a process and takes time, especially when a person has been traumatized. Bridget nodded and leaned back in her chair.

“In the Bible, God tells us numerous times to forgive, but he never says, ‘Forgive and forget.’” I paused for Bridget to think about that. “If you forget, you may place yourself in a dangerous situation with your father and subject yourself to more abuse.”

At the end of the session, Bridget left with a journaling assignment and a Bible verse to meditate on and memorize.

Your circumstances may not be the same as Bridget’s, but you may also struggle with forgiveness. You may think you can’t forgive unless you forget.

Forgiveness won’t change the past. A healed memory doesn’t mean you develop amnesia about it.

Proverbs 22:3: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.”

Dear God, help me understand forgiveness isn’t forgetting. Amen.

Application: What will you do this week to begin your process of forgiveness.

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Not a member of CIR yet? Join us Today!

Copyright by Yvonne Ortega, LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer.
If you would like to have her speak for your organization or church, please contact her through
her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com

Dealing with Self-righteous People

Monday, March 2nd, 2015

Self-righteous people are just comparing.

I never thought about it like that until Don Miller pointed out that self-righteousness is really just a way of building myself up by tearing others down. It’s not about being truly righteous, only appearing to be in a bit better class of sinner than the next guy.

That’s why self-righteous folks are so concerned with rules. Man-made rules are nearly always designed to distinguish who’s doing it better, even if the distinctions are artificial.

I started thinking about Jesus’ principles and realized they’re never like that. You can’t rank people based on how much they love. You just love, as much as possible, and there’s always more where that came from. Same for grace, hope, truth, mercy, compassion, forgiveness—you start trying to measure and compare that stuff and you start looking pretty silly.

You can’t force people to do the things that matter to Jesus—love, forgive, and all the rest—and you can’t make rules about them. Jesus reserved his harshest condemnation for the Pharisees who substituted their own burdensome rules for the freedom of following His principles.

I learning that God doesn’t care much if I love right, or forgive right, or do compassion right. He doesn’t grade on a curve—in fact, He doesn’t grade at all.

I think He celebrates when we try our best to do those things and forget about keeping score.

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Not a member of CIR yet? Join us Today!Dixon
Copyright by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of: Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com