Archive for the ‘For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People’ Category
Monday, April 30th, 2012
“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” Matthew 6:27
So it is useless to worry! A short person cannot, by any amount of anxiety, make himself an inch taller. Why, therefore, should he waste his energy and fret his life away–in wishing he were taller?
One worries because he is too short–another because he is too tall;
one worries because he too lean–another because he is too heavy;
one worries because he has a lame foot–another because he has a mole on his face.
No amount of fretting will change any of these things!
People worry, too, over their circumstances. They are poor, and have to work hard. They have troubles, losses, and disappointments which come through causes entirely beyond their own control. They find difficulties in their environment which they cannot surmount. There are hard conditions in their lot which they cannot change.
Now why should they worry about these things? Will worrying make matters any better? Will discontent . . .
cure the blind eye, or
remove the ugly mole, or
give health to the infirm body?
Will chafing make . . .
the hard work, lighter;
or the burdens, easier;
or the troubles, fewer?
Will anxiety . . .
keep the winter away, or
keep the storm from rising, or
put coal in the cellar, or
put bread in the pantry, or
get clothes for the children?
Even human reason shows the uselessness of worrying, since it helps nothing, and only wastes one’s strength and unfits one for doing one’s best!
The Christian gospel goes farther, and says that even the hard things and the obstacles, are blessings–if we meet them in the right spirit. They are stepping-stones lifting our feet upward–disciplinary experiences in which we grow.
So we learn that we should quietly, and with faith in God’s Providence, accept life as it comes to us–fretting at nothing, yet changing hard conditions to easier ones if we can. And if we cannot–then we must use them as means for growth and advancement.
~ J.R. Miller, “Daily Bible Readings in the Life of Christ” 1890)
Tags: Choices, failure, God's Love, hardship, loss, Responsibility, worry
Posted in Ability to Overcome, Anxiety, Assurance, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, Step 2, Step 3 | Comments Off
Friday, April 27th, 2012
What’s stopping you from following your dream?
That’s the question I asked as the guys at the retreat prepared for a day of mountain biking, hiking, 4-wheeling, and rock climbing. I challenged them to talk with their companions about the fears that get in the way.
One particular response was particularly revealing. “I’m afraid if I really listen to God, He might tell me to do something I don’t really want to do.”
What a wonderful—and brutally honest—insight. It’s an interesting twist on a common complaint.
Lots of folks grumble that God never speaks to them. What if the real problem is that we’re afraid to listen? What if we intentionally keep God at a distance to avoid disrupting our self-created illusion of security?
Most of the guys around the fire that night agreed. We seek to serve—when it’s convenient, when it fits into the schedule. We want to finish well—but we need to guard the 401(k).
We want to follow—on our terms.
What if we’re not-so-secretly afraid that Jesus was serious when He said, “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26-27)
What if our efforts to follow Jesus in a safe, sanitary manner actually cause us to avoid God because we’re afraid of what He might say?
I stated my goal on Friday night: I wanted to pose some questions that might create a bit of internal dissonance, prompt conversations, and cause each guy to lose a few minutes of sleep. Sunday morning brought several mostly good-natured complaints, and demands for extra coffee, from men who didn’t sleep quite as much as planned.
I intended challenging questions. I didn’t plan on answers that would keep me awake.
Are you avoiding God because you’re afraid of what He might tell you?
CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog
here
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article ! 
Copyright 2008-2012 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of: 
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com
Tags: Attitudes, bondage, Choices, God's Love, ministry, New Beginning, rebellion, Responsibility, worry
Posted in Ability to Overcome, Assurance, Attitudes, Choices, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, New Beginning, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Step 12, Step 2, Step 3 | Comments Off
Wednesday, April 25th, 2012
Psalm 119:66:
“Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I believe in your commands.”
When challenges come—and they will, what do we do?
The psalmist prayed and asked God to teach him “knowledge and good judgment.”
If you recently received a diagnosis of cancer, you are probably scared. You may feel depressed and wonder if you’ll survive.
Perhaps a family member or friend struggles with a life-threatening disease or the loss of a job or a home. You may feel the same emotions as the one struggling with the disease or the loss.
God wants us to know we can go to him and ask for his help as we make the necessary decisions.
The qualities of knowledge and good judgment belong to God, but he longs to teach them to us. All we have to do is ask.
We are blessed to serve a God who loves us so much that he will teach us knowledge and good judgment. We don’t need to stumble in the dark.
The second part of the verse says, “For I believe in your commands.” God loves us, and his commands are good and worth believing.
The difficulties in our lives can shake our faith and we may find ourselves saying as the man whose son possessed a spirit, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief” (Mark 9:24).
Dear God, teach me knowledge and good judgment. Amen.
Application: How will you show this week that you believe God’s commands?
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, failure, grief, hardship, loss, New Beginning, Pain, Responsibility
Posted in Ability to Overcome, Assurance, Attitudes, Choices, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Pain, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Step 2, Step 3 | Comments Off
Monday, April 23rd, 2012
But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions…what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. (2 Timothy 3:10-11, NKJV)
The Apostle Paul was no stranger to suffering, yet he was no whiner either. He patiently endured whatever hardships came his way as a result of his bold proclamation of faith in the risen Christ, knowing his Lord would keep him safe whatever happened.
Notice, however, that though Paul knew God would keep him safe, he didn’t expect Him to spare him from suffering. Paul understood that such things were part of the cost he must pay for serving the One whom the world rejected. Nothing much has changed in that regard, has it? Though we in many countries are free to worship God as we wish, others around the globe are not so blessed.
Jesus Himself set the example, didn’t He? Another Apostle, Thomas, wanted proof of that example. When he was told that Jesus had indeed risen from the dead, he didn’t ask to see Christ’s face or to hear His voice. He said he must touch His wounds, the scars that proved His suffering on our behalf, before he would believe. Graciously, Jesus accommodated him.
Our redemption was bought at a great price, so great we can scarcely begin to fathom it. The scars on the risen Christ’s body are testimony to that redemption and the unconditional love that sealed it.
Can we, as followers of Christ, expect any less? Even if we are not openly persecuted for our faith, there is always a price to pray, a part of self that needs to die daily so our risen Lord can live within us. There’s no room on the throne for two; only Jesus has earned the right to sit there. When we are called to any sort of suffering in our walk with Him, may we endure it humbly, knowing that the scars it produces will provide evidence of Christ’s love for others to see, that they too might believe and be saved.
Tags: Abuse, anger, Attitudes, Choices, criticism, disabilities, failure, God's Love, grief, hardship, Pain, salvation, serenity, strength, verbal abuse, worry
Posted in Ability to Overcome, Assurance, Attitudes, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Pain, Renewal, Step 2, Step 3 | Comments Off
Friday, April 20th, 2012
What’s the cost of following a dream?
Dreams aren’t free. You pay to follow a dream. Costs are measured in dollars, time, effort, and emotion.
How do you decide if following a dream is “worth it”?
Frankly, I don’t know how you answer that question. I suppose you can weigh anticipated risk against predicted reward, but I don’t think the decision to follow a dream depends on a balance sheet.
In fact, I’d bet most dreams wouldn’t survive an up-front cost-benefit analysis. I think you follow a dream despite potential risk
or cost.
A DREAM is a God-inspired desire to use your gifts and passions to serve and change the world.
When you respond to a God-inspired desire, I think you’re all-in. Jesus called it “counting the cost.”
But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? (Luke 14:28)
Jesus was talking about the cost of following Him. He admonished listeners to understand that following Him requires total commitment. You don’t get to hold anything back.
That’s kind of how it is to follow a dream. You jump into the deep end without knowing where it’ll lead or how it’ll turn out. You vow to do whatever it takes and trust God for the rest.
The size of your dream reflects the size of your God. If it doesn’t scare you, maybe you’re not dreaming big enough. It’s #1 on my list of What Did I Learn from Rich’s Ride:
Don’t allow your resources to determine your vision.
If the dream’s God-inspired, it’s worth it—whatever “it” happens to be.
CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog
here
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2008-2012 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.co
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, failure, hardship, ministry, New Beginning, rejection, worry
Posted in Ability to Overcome, Anxiety, Assurance, Attitudes, Choices, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, New Beginning, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Renewal, Step 12, Step 2 | Comments Off
Thursday, April 19th, 2012
Colossians 1:9: “Since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding.”
We have the privilege of praying for our family, friends, and co-workers.
One mother prayed for the future husbands of her daughters since they were babies. When each daughter became engaged, the mother would tell the young man how she had prayed for him for years.
When I pray for others, I often ask God to fill them to overflowing with his wisdom, discernment, knowledge, and understanding.
In our daily activities, we meet people at the post office, the gas station, the beauty shop, the grocery store, our place of employment, and other places. Let’s pray for them.
I sometimes ask people how I can pray for them. They are surprised that someone wants to pray for them and thank me afterward.
Let’s pray for our doctors and dentists. We want good care, don’t we?
Don’t forget our church staff and their families need our prayers every day.
Dear God, help me pray daily for my loved ones. Amen.
Application: Which special people will you pray for this week?
Tags: Choices, fellowship, healing, ministry, relationships, Responsibility
Posted in Choices, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Prayer, Responsibility, Step 12 | Comments Off
Tuesday, April 10th, 2012
The other day I posed this question:
What if it takes “300 touches” for someone to be ready to really see and accept Christ?
By a “touch” I mean an encounter, an impression, an interaction with Jesus. And of course there’s nothing magic about the number 300, but suppose it takes a certain number of touches for an individual to reach that point of readiness. And suppose those touches happen most often through the folks who already know and follow Jesus.
What would that mean for us?
Humility
It’s not about being “the one who led a soul to Jesus.” It’s not about getting credit or basking in the glory of being touch #300. Obviously we celebrate when someone reaches that point, but I don’t want extra credit. I want to be fine with being one of those touches along the way, perhaps one that was never recognized or acknowledged.
Patience
If I truly believe this process happens in God’s timing and control, perhaps the worst thing I could do is force or manipulate someone to touch #300 before they’re ready. If I’m touch #147, my role is to prepare that person for touch #148 and trust God. Forcing scripture verses on someone who’s not ready might turn her away and hinder the process. Sometimes I think the biggest obstacle to Jesus is overly “religious” people.
Availability
It’s pretty hard to be one of those touch points unless I get out of my own little protected world. I must be willing to interact, in their world, with those who need Jesus’ touch.
Awareness
What’s the need before me? How can I be “Jesus in blue jeans” to this person, right here, right now? A smile. A conversation. Something more? No way to know unless I’m always asking the question and seeking ways to be touch # ___.
I believe God wants to use us to be one of those touches in the life of every person we encounter. I believe He wants us to seek out those people and engage them wherever they are on their journey.
I believe He wants me to find joy in the anonymity, and the eternal significance, of being touch #147.
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, fellowship, humility, ministry, relationships, Responsibility
Posted in Attitudes, Choices, Faith, Family, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Step 12 | Comments Off
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
Do you think you can “lead someone to Jesus”?
The speaker says, “I’ve personally led ___ people to Jesus.”
Ever heard that sort of claim? I always get a bit nervous. I want to look around for scalps hanging on the wall or at least notches in a belt.
I’ve never personally led someone to Jesus. I don’t know exactly how people come to Christ, but I suspect the Holy Spirit is more involved in the leading process than I am. At least I hope so.
On the other hand, I know I’m involved. I know I matter in how people come to know Jesus, even if I don’t know exactly how the process works. And this week our pastor suggested an image that made a lot of sense.
What if it works sort of like advertising? What if it requires a certain number of impressions or “touches” before it really sinks in? And while there’s nothing special about it, let’s use the number “300.”
What if it takes “300 touches” for someone to be ready to really see and accept Christ?
If that’s how it happens, then reaching the place of accepting Jesus is really a trajectory of touches or interactions, each leading an individual a bit further along a path. And if I happen to represent touch #147 for someone during my day, my role is to represent Jesus at that point. I’ll probably never see the result, but that’s not really the point.
Touch #300 would seem like the monumental decision point, the place where the world changed. But maybe it never would have happened without touch #147.
I want to expand on this notion tomorrow. Today I’ll leave us with a couple of questions.
Are we okay with being touch #147? Or do we need the “honor” of being #300?
How can we be more aware when everything we do or say might be touch #147 for someone else?
CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog
here
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2008-2012 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, fellowship, ministry, relationships, Responsibility, salvation
Posted in Attitudes, Choices, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Step 12 | Comments Off
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012
Proverbs 24:1-2: “Do not envy wicked men, do not desire their company; for their hearts plot violence, and their lips talk about making trouble.”
“My husbands lived on the edge. Each marriage was exciting, but it didn’t last,” a woman told me in a discussion of her three marriages.
The woman admitted she was attracted to wicked men. She said good men were boring. However, each of her wicked husbands left her in a worse financial situation than she had been before.
Those evil men initially brought her excitement. In time they were violent and brought her far more trouble than excitement.
No wonder God tells us not to envy wicked men and not to desire their company. Men can also fall into the snare of wicked women.
God loves us so much that he warns us against wicked people to protect us, his children.
Enough violence and trouble exist in our world without desiring the company of people who thrive on those things.
Dear God, help me seek the company of good people. Amen.
Application: What will you do this week to avoid the company of the wicked?
Tags: Abuse, Choices, relationships, Responsibility, verbal abuse
Posted in Abuse, Choices, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, Responsibility, Step 12, Things to Ponder | Comments Off
Wednesday, March 28th, 2012
Today’s word-of-the-week…
DRAINED
Do you ever begin a week with a drained battery?
Do you know the feeling? The sun rises on a fresh week and it’s like you forgot to plug in the charger and there’s no emotional or spiritual juice.
You know better, which makes it even worse. Maybe you even know why it happened. But “knowing” doesn’t make much difference when the battery’s drained. Grumbling about it and beating yourself up doesn’t help, either. That just consumes more unavailable energy.
It’s easy to face the promise of a new week with a fully-charged emotional/spiritual battery. I try to do that. So do you.
But sometimes it doesn’t work out. Sometimes Monday morning shows up and there’s stuff to do and you can’t imagine how it’s going to happen. I hope you’re not there, but if you are let’s remember a couple of important facts.
First, “completely drained” is a lie. Jesus didn’t leave the building, and we can lean on Him when we’re not sure we can stand on our own. The reserves are stronger than we can imagine.
Second, we know where to go to get recharged.
I’m going to get going with this new week, trusting that reserve power to keep me going while I get my battery recharged.
Whatever your battery status, I hope you…have a great week.
CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog
here
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2008-2012 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com
Tags: Choices, failure, God's Love, hardship, Pain, Responsibility, strength
Posted in Ability to Overcome, Attitudes, Choices, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Renewal, Step 12, Step 3 | Comments Off
Copyright 2010-2012, Yvonne Ortega, LPC, LSATP, CCDVCAll Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Copyright 2009-2012 Kathi Macias, all rights reserved. Used by permission.
