Archive for the ‘Step 4’ Category

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Why Humility?

Friday, January 27th, 2012
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Humble yourselves. That sounds obscene. At least to the culture of self-promotion and “get ahead at all cost” and “don’t look back, the competition is gaining on you” it sounds obscene.

Humility is a forgotten virtue. Often confused with weakness or timidity, humility is about knowing our proper place in the world without flaunting it. Only God can exalt in a permanent way, so the key is to know our place before him and let him put us in the place he chooses to honor him.

A humble heart is tender towards God, and He responds when it cries out to Him. And that may be why He sometimes allows hard things into our lives – to bring forth the fruit of humility.

As God does great things in our midst, we don’t ever want to forget what He’s brought us through. We can do nothing without His intervention. But as we keep humble, contrite, tender hearts, there is no end to what He can accomplish not merely in our own lives, but for our children’s children.

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Copyright 2010-2012, Chaplain Michael Clark

All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.

Chaplain Clark is a Speaker and Writer,
Addiction Counselor/Professional

as well as a Recovery Support Specialist

Shadows of the Cross Ministries, Prison and Recovery Ministry

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Posted in Attitudes, Choices, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, New Beginning, Renewal, Responsibility, Step 10, Step 2, Step 3, Step 4, Step 5, Step 6, Step 7, Step 8, Step 9 | Comments Off

Change

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012
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If you’re committed to doing something differently in 2012 you might be thinking about

CHANGE

In Isaiah 43:18 God says, “I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up! Do you not perceive it?”

I believe He’s doing a new thing. My problem is the “perceiving” part. Last week I posted a story over at Rich’s Ride called The First Ride. Here’s  my take on the lesson from that simple event.

Life mostly doesn’t consist of dramatic changes and momentous decisions. Your present situation is the amalgamation of thousands of small choices that accumulate over months and years. We want to believe we can change course in an instant, but altering your long-term path is more like steering an aircraft carrier. Rather than instantaneous ninety-degree turns, life is more about one-degree corrections.

We don’t like slow, small change. We want to see results right now, and one-degree turns take a long time to show up. On a ten-foot journey a one-degree course change only alters your final position by about two inches. But if you maintain that one-degree alteration for one thousand miles your location changes by more than seventeen miles.

Each of us is one small choice, a single one-degree course correction, from a radically altered life. The changes don’t usually show up immediately. Life is long-term because God is long-term. Certainly there are times when God steps in and causes a one-eighty. But more often He works through everyday situations and circumstances.

I moved a bike I couldn’t move. That’s a miracle that changed my course, but nobody watching on that day would have recognized it. It’s the kind of miracle that’s only apparent downstream after hundreds and thousands of miles when you understand that you’re a long distance from where the original course would have led. It’s a one-degree miracle, and it alters everything that follows.

Perhaps it’s not water to wine, but it’s no less a miracle.

Mostly I think God works in our lives through one-degree miracles. We need to open our eyes and look carefully if we want to perceive them.

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2008-2012 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

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Posted in Ability to Overcome, Choices, General Recovery, New Beginning, Renewal, Responsibility, Step 3, Step 4, Step 6, Step 7, Step 8, Step 9, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

Regrets

Thursday, December 8th, 2011
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“If you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way.First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”  Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV

Regrets. We all have them, don’t we? But one thing I’ve learned as we come closer to the end of our earthly life: ultimately it isn’t what we didn’t do for ourselves that we regret so much as what we didn’t do for others. I have absolutely no regrets over any kindness I’ve offered, any selfless deed I’ve performed, or any gift I’ve given. If I regret anything it’s those times I could have given but chose not to; times I served myself rather than others; times I spoke an unkind word rather than a healing one.

Billy Graham, in Nearing Home, writes, “Don’t come to the end of your life and look back with regret over a hurt that could have been forgiven or a relationship that could have been healed—if you had only seized the initiative and taken the first step.” Now is the time—right now, today, even this very moment—to seize the initiative and take that first step toward reconciling a broken relationship or encouraging someone in need or giving of yourself. How easy to put it off and tell ourselves we’ll do it “later,” but we aren’t promised later. This may be our only chance.

If we love God and regularly offer up praise and worship, prayers and thanksgiving to Him, then we need to heed the admonition in Matthew 5 to FIRST go to that one we’ve offended (or who has offended us) or from whom we are estranged for whatever reason—and do whatever we can to make it right. That person may or may not accept our efforts, but we will have gone a long way in ensuring we don’t reach the end of our earthly journey with a cartload of regrets following along behind us.

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2011 Kathi Macias, all rights reserved. Used by permission.
Kathi Macias is a multi-award winning writer who has authored 30 books.
“Beyond Me. Living a You-first Life in a Me-first World”

and


“Mothers of the Bible Speak to Mothers of Today”

She also writes novels:
No Greater Love
More than Conquerors
The author can be reached at: http://www.kathimacias.com

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Posted in Ability to Overcome, Assurance, Attitudes, Choices, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Renewal, Responsibility, Step 4, Step 5, Step 6, Step 7, Step 8, Step 9 | Comments Off

Jesus Says “Sorry” Is A Verb

Saturday, February 19th, 2011
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“I’m sorry.” Why are those two little words so difficult to say?

I made a mistake. I need to apologize. It’s not that hard.

So why is it so hard?

Maybe there’s a better question. Why is it so hard to say I’m sorry and really mean it? Or even better, what does it mean to really mean it?

That’s the real question: what does “being sorry” really mean?

Apologize … and MEAN it

I know this will shock you, but I occasionally broke the rules as a kid. I recall my mom telling me to apologize to someone. I’d comply grudgingly, and she’d say, “Now go back and say it like you MEAN it.”

Dad was a bit more concrete. “If you’re not sorry, I’ll MAKE you sorry!” Mostly an idle threat, but it worked on a little kid.

Sorry was about feeling bad. Sorry meant regret and shame and fear. If you felt enough of that stuff, then you were really sorry.

Jesus didn’t say much about feeling sorry, but He did talk about repentance. In Luke 13:3 He says, “…But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”

Especially coming from Jesus, that’s the sort of thing you take seriously. Repent or die? I’ll feel bad, guilty, scared—I’ll feel guilty and regretful, I’ll beat myself up. Whatever it takes, I’ll be as sorry as possible to avoid that sort of punishment.

Huh?

Except—that doesn’t really fit with the rest of Jesus’ message. He doesn’t seem to be about instilling regret, shame, and fear.

In John 8 the religious leaders confronted Jesus with a woman caught in adultery. After He dealt with the leaders, He was alone with the woman. At the end of their conversation, He doesn’t embarrass or rebuke her or tell her to slink away in shame. Instead He simply instructs her, “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Maybe Biblical repentance isn’t about feeling bad. Maybe it’s not a feeling at all.

Maybe repent is a verb.

Biblical repentance means “to turn.” Jesus wants me to turn away from sin and toward God. He wants me to adopt God’s perspective. He doesn’t want me to feel bad—He wants me to leave my life of sin.

In 2 Corinthians 7 Paul discusses an issue of correction with the church. He explains that his intent wasn’t to harm them. Then in verse 10 he says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”

Godly sorrow brings repentance that … leaves no regret.

Mom was right

Now that I think about it, that’s really what my mom wanted as well. She wasn’t interested in making me feel ashamed, but she did want me to turn away from wrong behavior.

I still need to apologize.

“I’m sorry.” I acknowledge and accept responsibility for my actions. I want to learn from my mistakes and make better choices. I want to look in God’s direction, not my own. I want a new beginning.

I want to move forward in faith, hope, and love.

Do you struggle to repent without feeling guilty or ashamed?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

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Posted in Abuse, Attitudes, Choices, Family, General Recovery, New Beginning, Responsibility, Step 10, Step 4, Step 5, Step 6, Step 7, Step 8, Step 9, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

Prove Your Love for God

Friday, January 28th, 2011
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Beloved, if God so loved us,
we also ought to love one another (1 John 4:11, NKJV).

I am an avid follower and supporter of the Voice of the Martyrs and other such ministries that support believers around the world who suffer for their faith. As I read the stories of these courageous brothers and sisters, I am struck by the motivation for their courage: their great love.

To a person, those who stand strong for their faith in Christ despite persecution are marked by the depth of their love for God and others—including their tormentors. That sort of unwavering, selfless, forgiving love can flow only from a grateful heart that has first received the unconditional and undeserved love of the Father and the sacrificial gift of His Son. When we truly begin to grasp the enormity of God’s love for us, we can do nothing but respond with a thankful spirit and an outpouring of love for everyone we meet.

We all know people who seem unlovable. (This may be hard to believe, but there may even be some who consider us the unlovable ones!) Seriously, if God limited His love to those who deserved it, none of us would be able to receive it, would we? The Scriptures tell us “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8, NKJV). God didn’t wait until we cleaned up our act or earned our way into His presence to make the supreme offering of love on our behalf; He did it while we turned our back to Him and went our own way, wallowing in the pigpen of our own making and proclaiming our own goodness each step of the way.

First John 4:8 proclaims the great truth that “God is love.” Apart from God, there is no love; all else that masquerades as such is a sham—lust, need, desire. God’s love is selfless, and that’s the sort of love He calls us to model to others. Not only is that a difficult thing to do, but it’s actually impossible in our own strength. Only the One who loves us without measure can flow that love through us to others. Immerse yourself in His boundless love today, and then prove your love for God by allowing it to flow from you to those who may be the most unlikely candidates and yet need it just as desperately as we do.

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Kathi Macias, all rights reserved. Used by permission.
Kathi Macias is a multi-award winning writer who has authored 30 books.
“Beyond Me. Living a You-first Life in a Me-first World”

and


“Mothers of the Bible Speak to Mothers of Today”

She also writes novels:

No Greater Love

More than Conquerors

The author can be reached at: http://www.kathimacias.com

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Posted in Attitudes, Choices, Family, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, Forgiveness of God, General Recovery, Responsibility, Step 11, Step 12, Step 4, Step 5, Step 6, Step 7, Step 8, Step 9, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

Are You Still a Little Savage?

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011
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“Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me!” Psalm 51:5

Every baby starts life as a little savage. He is completely selfish and self-centered: he wants what he wants–his bottle, his mother’s attention, his playmate’s toys, his uncle’s watch, or whatever. Deny him these and he seethes with rage and aggressiveness which would be murderous were he not so helpless. He is dirty; he has no morals, no knowledge and no developed skills. This means that all children, not just certain children, but all children are born delinquent. If permitted to continue in their self-centered world of infancy, given free reign to their impulsive actions to satisfy each want–every child would grow up a criminal, a killer, a thief, and a rapist.”
~ Reb Bradley, “Biblical Insights into Child Training”

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

“Remember that children are born with a decided bias toward evil, and therefore if you let them choose for themselves, they are certain to choose wrong. The mother cannot tell what her tender infant may grow up to be–tall or short, weak or strong, wise or foolish–all is uncertain. But one thing the mother can say with certainty–he will have a corrupt and sinful heart! It is natural for us to do wrong. Our hearts are like the earth on which we tread–let it alone, and it is sure to bear weeds!”
~ J. C. Ryle

“Every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood.” Genesis 8:21

Application: Prayerfully consider in what ways you remain selfish or self-centered. Ask God to open your eyes to see yourself as you really are and then ask Him to bring you healing.

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Posted in Ability to Overcome, Attitudes, Choices, Forgiveness of God, General Recovery, New Beginning, Renewal, Responsibility, Step 4, Step 5, Step 6, Step 7, Step 8, Step 9, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

Completely Calm

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011
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Matthew 8:26: “You of little faith, why are you so afraid? Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.”

As I’ve observed others’ lives and reviewed my own, it seems we are either in a storm, coming out of a storm or about to go into one.

Like the apostles in the boat with Jesus in verse 25, we can respond in fear and say, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” That is a natural response. No one would fault us for that.

However, Jesus Christ has power over the winds and the waves in our lives. He is bigger than any crisis we face. Nothing is impossible for him.

Perhaps that storm comes to test our faith and to refine us as silver. Maybe it’s simply part of life, but our response to it makes the difference.

Jesus doesn’t want us to be afraid. He wants us to lean on him and trust him to bring complete calm to our storm.

Dear God, thank you that Jesus can rebuke the winds and the waves in our lives. Amen.

Application: When will you turn in faith to Jesus to calm the storm in your life?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Copyright 2011, Yvonne Ortega, , LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer.
Visit her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com

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Posted in Ability to Overcome, Anxiety, Assurance, Attitudes, Choices, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Pain, Step 3, Step 4, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

Our Words and Deeds are Irrevocable

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011
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“But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken!” Matthew 12:36

We cannot recall any word we have spoken. It may be a false word or an unkind word–a word which will blast and burn! Instantly after it has been spoken–we may wish it back and may rush after it and try to stop it–but there is no power in the world that can unsay the hurtful word–or blot it out of our life!

It is just so with our acts. A moment after we have done a wicked thing, we may bitterly repent it. We may be willing to give all we have in the world to undo it, to make it as though it never had been. But in vain. A deed done takes its place in the universe as a fact–and never can be recalled.

We should be sure before we speak a word or do an act–that it is right, that we shall never desire to have it recalled–for when once we have opened our lips, or lifted our hand–there will be no unsaying or undoing possible.

Our words and deeds are irrevocable. We cannot recall anything we have done, neither can we change it. But by other words and deeds, we may in some measure modify the effect of that which we cannot blot out. Paul could not undo his persecutions of Christians–but by a life to devotion to Christ’s cause–he could in a sense make reparation for the terrible harm he had done.

Just so, we cannot undo the wrong things we have done–but we should strive to set in motion other influences which may at least compensate in some sense for the harm they have wrought. We cannot unsay the sharp word which wounds our friend’s heart–but we can by kindness and loyal devotion–yet bring good and blessing to his life.

~  J. R. Miller, “Devotional Hours with the Bible”

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Posted in Attitudes, Choices, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Responsibility, Step 10, Step 4, Step 8, Step 9, Things to Ponder | Comments Off

Finishing And Beginning

Thursday, December 30th, 2010
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What are you doing this week?

This is a strange week in our cultural calendar. For many folks, today means back-to-work. For others it’s returning or exchanging, taking a break, or wrapping up family visits. Lots of emails generate automatic “out-of-the-office” messages during this week.

I have two main tasks for this last week of 2010. One involves returning from over the river and through the woods, which means a scenic drive across Nebraska. The other is a brief look back at 2010 and getting goals in order for 2011.

2010

I intentionally avoid a lot of looking back. I try to set up my major goals to include a lot of continuous monitoring, so I’m pretty clear about where I succeeded and places I fell short. I’ll do some thinking about the big picture, but mostly about how that relates to moving forward.

I’ve been sort of a drifter for much of my life. One month blends into another and things sort of float along, and suddenly I realize that a lot of years haven’t had much of an intentional purpose. I think many of us operate in that mode. If that’s you, I invite you to join me in making things a bit more targeted.

If you’re curious, I invite you to read one of my absolute favorite metaphors: Lessons From The Jar.

Core Values

I believe in knowing and reminding myself of my core values. Perhaps you need to spend some time defining these for yourself. For me, this is a time to review, revise and recommit. Whatever I do must point me toward the True-North principles that form the foundation of my life. For me these are:

2011 Focus

My major focus for 2011 is expanding the circle. That means getting the words to a wider community through broader, deeper, and more diverse connections. So I intend to focus on:

  1. Attracting more people to the circle.
  2. Making tighter, deeper connections with people in the circle.
  3. Doing something meaningful with the circle.

Obviously, that doesn’t mean I’ll devote every waking moment to this single objective. Life’s just not that simple. But it does help me as I make monthly and daily choices. As I fill my calendar and begin projects, keeping this focus in mind provides a reference point for saying yes or no.

Key Words

I like the practice of choosing a single word to signify a goal. Each word means something to me, and helps me keep the goal in my mind.

For 2011, my three words are: Readers, Workshop, and Ride.

Readers: I want to focus on you during 2011. I want to attract more of you and find ways to make our connections more meaningful. This includes speaking opportunities, free ebooks, and perhaps some online workshops or other types of interactions.

Workshop: This is a continuation of a 2010 goal. I want to refine the workshop/seminar I presented in 2010 and find more audiences.

Ride: This is the big project for the year. I want to do a 1500-mile hand cycle ride (Nine Miles An Hour) during the second half of 2011.

Just The Beginning

These three words are reminders of big ideas or dreams. They’re not goals yet, because a goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline. So now I need to do the work I wrote about last week (Next Year Is Nearly Here).

I created the simple diagram with free XMIND mind-mapping software. I’ll expand each word and transform it from a dream to an achievable, measurable goal. And I’ll share some of the results, and how you can help, next time.

Are you in? Want to join in setting the sails for 2011?

Are you setting goals for the coming year? Want to share?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

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If you were to meet yourself on the street some morning….

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010
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“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way!” Psalm 139:23-24

It will be worth our while–to think seriously of the things in us–that only God can see. There are sins which are hidden from ourselves, of which our conscience is not aware–our unknown errors. The evil in us which lies too deep to be discovered. There is a SELF in us, which even we ourselves do not see! There are depths of our being–into which our own eyes cannot pierce. You may say that you know of no sins, errors, or faults in yourself, and you may be sincere; still this is not evidence that you are sinless.

Our conscience is not the final court. It is not enough to have the approval of our own heart. There are errors and evils in the holiest life on earth–which only God’s eye can detect. We must ask God to search us, if we would be made clean.

We cannot see our own faults–even as our neighbors can see them. There is wisdom in the wish that we might see ourselves, as others see us–for it would free us from many a blunder and foolish notion.

We are prejudiced in our own favor. We are disposed to be charitable toward our own shortcomings. We make all sorts of allowances for our own faults. We are wonderfully patient with our own weaknesses. We are blind to our own blemishes. We look at our good qualities through magnifying glasses; and at our faults and errors with the lenses reversed–making them appear very small. We see only the best of ourselves.

If you were to meet yourself on the street some morning–that is, the person God sees you to be–you would probably not recognize yourself!

We remember the little story that the prophet Nathan told King David, about a rich man’s injustice toward a poor man, and how David’s anger flamed up. “This man must die!” cried the king. He did not recognize himself–in the man he so despised, until Nathan quietly said, “You are the man!”

We are all too much like David.

If the true chronicle of your life were written in a book, in the form of a story, and you were to read the chapters over–you probably would not identify the story as your own!

We do not know our real self. We do not imagine there is so much about us that is morally ugly and foul, that is positively wicked. But God searches and knows the innermost and hidden things of our heart!

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way!”

~ J. R. Miler, “Looking One’s Soul in the Face” 1912

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

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