As I wrestle once again with His sovereignty, I realize the deepest question my heart is asking: Can I really trust that He knows what is best for me?
When life is smooth, it is easy to give lip service to believing that He knows what is best. But our commitment to God and His plan is challenged when life is not so smooth.
So what exactly does “smooth” mean? Smooth means life is going according to my plan. And that’s the crux of it. Deep down in the darkest corner of my heart, the place I don’t want to admit exists — much less allow God to penetrate it with His Light and Truth — deep down in that horrid corner I see what I really want is life according to my plan.
Control, rebellion, and pride all wrapped up into one big mess.
Bowing to His sovereignty means that I surrender my “good” plan for my life (and the lives of those I love), to His perfect plan. It means humbly acknowledging that He knows best, that He is the only One who is infinite and eternal and knows all — the past, present, and future. It means realizing that I certainly cannot predict the future, much less control it.
I can bow to His sovereignty kicking and screaming . . . or, I can come to more deeply know the One who died so I could live. In knowing the depth of that love, I cannot help but to trust that His perfect plan, His plan that is colliding with my plan, does indeed have my best interests at heart.
Are you wrestling?
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Celeste Li, M. D. is the author of
Triumph Over Suffering: A Spiritual Guide To Conquering Adversity
She is active member of Christ Fellowship Church in Palm Beach Gardens Florida.
Celeste teaches a course in Triumph Over Suffering and serves in Christ Fellowship’s Ministry for the Suffering.