It Starts at Home

“Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.” Deuteronomy 6:4–9 KJV

When I turned on the television to watch the news yesterday, there was a cartoon show just getting over. On this cartoon show, the characters were fighting with each other. This is on a show that is supposed to be for children. We wonder why some children become violent, disobedient, sarcastic, and disrespectful, not only to their parents but also to all authority figures when they grow up. It is because they have seen these character flaws on television and in the home. Some children grow up thinking this is normal and how it should be and other children grow up thinking that it is cool to do these things.

In many homes, the children are forced to hear their parents yell at each other, curse each other and sometimes see their parents hit each other. There is no place for the children to go to get away from it. If they go to their bedrooms, provided they have a bedroom, the yelling and cursing is so loud that it is like being in the same room with their parents. I personally know several people who had to endure such horror when they were children.

I have received many emails from people who have told me that they were frightened of their parents when they were children. We, as parents, are human and we are not perfect. We will have disagreements with our spouses but O dear friends; don’t say these things in front of your children. If they hear you putting your spouse down in front of them, they will follow in your footsteps.

Wait until you go to your bedroom and then take your spouse’s hand and pray together. It won’t be easy to do this, in fact, it will be impossible to do this is your own strength. However, if you will immediately ask Jesus to help you to keep quiet in front of your children, He will be faithful to help you.

One of the things that we should remember is that if both parents have accepted Jesus as personal Saviour, then not only are they husband and wife, they are also brother and sister in Christ. If you can’t pray together as husband and wife, pray together as children of our Heavenly Father.

It doesn’t matter if we are twenty years old, fifty years old, or one hundred years old, we are still His little children and He loves each one of us equally. God is not impressed with all the degrees we earn. He does not call us doctor or pastor or by any other name. He calls us by our first name. He also does not play favorites and it hurts Him and makes Him very sad when we fight with each other.

One of the most heartbreaking emails I have received was from a lady who told me that she was so desperate to leave home because of all the fighting and cursing she saw and heard at home, that she married the first man who asked her to marry him. She told me that she had only had two dates with him. She had never met his family. She didn’t know what kind of work he did, how old he was or even if he went to church. Needless to say, this marriage did not last because after they had only been married a month, he started beating her. She stayed with him until he beat her so badly that she literally passed out.

Jesus has called us to be peacemakers; He did not call us to be doormats for us to allow someone to beat on us. If you have an abusive husband or wife, I urge you, I plead with you to go to your pastor and get counsel. Don’t go to an agency unless you know for a fact they are Christians and love Jesus. What you need when you are hurting and being abused is to know what God says and what He wants done in your situation. Above all, keep praying for your spouse. God can work miracles and He does every day.

From the bottom of my heart, I ask you and beg you to love your children and set a good example for them. Otherwise, one day you may see them on death row waiting to be executed because they have killed someone. What will you say when you stand before a Holy God on the judgment day and He asks you why you didn’t raise your children the way He has commanded us to raise them? Please love your children, love your spouse, and especially love Jesus and show your love by your actions and by the encouraging words you say to them.

Joanne Lowe

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