Divorce

If anger is burning within you and affecting your life, this booklet will help.

The truth is ALL marriages go through a period of time, usually after a year or two of marriage where the feelings of love seem to be lost…but it is not love that is lost but those giddy feelings that a person has when they experience a new relationship. Love can’t be lost because love is not a feeling but something you do! When a husband says he lost love for his wife, he means to say, “I want that feeling back so I can love my wife”. Couples BASE their marriage on how they feel rather than principled acts of love.

Managing your marriage doesn’t have to be difficult. It takes a few initiatives on your part to get yourself into the proper prospective of how marriage really works. Marriage is about living your purpose and attaining your goals that are related to that purpose.

1. Marriage Takes Team Players

Marriage takes team players working together to accomplish the same objectives. It doesn’t matter what those goals are, but what does matter is how you play the game. For an example, a wife should not go her own way, and not consider her husband and the husband should not go his own way without considering his wife. What is that anyway? That’s not the intention of Gods design for marriage. I think that’s downright selfishness.

Why do we use the words, “fall in love” or “fall out of love”? What does it really mean to be “in love” with someone? First of all, understand that you cannot fall “in love” or fall “out of love”. Love just becomes what it is when two people spend a lot of time together and get to know each other.

Marriage thrives on intimacy and closeness with one another and when that declines or discontinues couples feel they are no longer “in love” with their spouse, even though they still care for and love their spouse. So what does that mean? It means they are confused about what love really is.

Elizabeth's neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown her great mercy, and they rejoiced with her." Luke 1:58

We see here a striking example of the kindness we owe to one another. It is written that "they rejoiced with her." How much more happiness there would be in this evil world, if conduct like this was more common!

Sympathy in one another's joys and sorrows costs little, and yet is a grace of most mighty power.

And the LORD God said, It's not good that man should be alone,
I will make him an helpmeet. Genisis 2:18

I want to add just a quick note of encouragement to those women whose husbands are having an affair and want to know what to do now. Ignore it by detaching from it. Many of you may be astonished to hear me say such a thing but the truth is you can't do anything about someone else's immoral character and beliefs. You need to be the example to your husband by showing him your walk in the Lord. Fussing and fighting with the adulterer is not going to get him to stop. WORK ON YOUR OWN HEALING!

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To detach with love from the alcoholic means to not allow what they do while drinking harm your emotional and or spiritual well being.

Detaching with love is something learned that over time becomes a habit-a good habit actually.

By J. Grant Swank, Jr.

Dave walked through the door with divorce notice in hand. He'd not expected it, though he had told me he wanted a divorce eventually. But this way? This time?

One of the gifts of friendship is to be there for another when needed -- in bad times as well as good times.

Instantly I knew that Dave needed particularly my friendship gift -- immediately -- in high gear --sympathetically -- realistically -- meaningfully.

So it was that the journey began-walking a friend through divorce. Interestingly, having made this trek with others down through the years, I have reached the conclusion that all divorces are different, all divorces are the same.

Stop everything you’re doing and write down these principled ways for reconnecting and restoring the broken bonds with your spouse. Apply each of these principles every day until you have completed them all. Don’t worry about what your spouse will say or do, just do these steps for yourself and for God.

Forgive Your Spouse

Understanding Verbal Abuse and Anger