Adultery

I would almost make a presumption that almost everybody in the world knows what guilt is and that they are guilty of something in their life. Who has not told a "white lie" in order to make things look a little cleaner than they actually are? I admit to telling more white lies than I can count and I am only 36 at the moment. And even if you were to argue that you are not guilty of anything, have I got some shocking news for you. According to the Bible, everybody is guilty of sin. In fact, when we are born, we are born into a sinful world and we automatically become part of that sinful world. (Isaiah 53:6 New Living Translation (NLT)

All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the guilt and sins of us
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His Word is not in us. (1 John 1:8-10 RSV)

Romans 3:23
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.

And the Bible tells us that if we think we have not sinned that what we are indeed doing is calling God a liar -
1 John 1:10 King James Version
(KJV) If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

What we are guilty of depends on how we were raised, what we were taught to believe in school, at home, and our other places of meeting. But the Bible makes it clear that all sin is equal. There is no one sin greater than another like we as humans class them as, save one special sin. According to the New Testament, Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is the ONLY sin that is not forgivable.

Why would we NOT be faithful marriage spouses? Why do some people cheat and some people don’t? I believe it has a lot to do with how we think and what we value and cherish in life. Simply put, personal morals begin with our attitude. How we have been raised from childhood and what we believe will surely be a big part of if we remain faithful in our marriage or not.

I believe that people miss out on the spiritual Christ in their life by putting God in a corner of a church building. We tend to think that God is only going to hear our prayers if we go to church. We tend to worship the pastors and ministers of the church rather than Jesus Christ, who is the head of the church. Of course most of us know that God is everywhere because He is a Spirit, but most of us stifle our daily walk with God by only worshiping and or praying when we go to church.

The adulterer is hurting themselves more than the people they have betrayed. They too are suffering and need God's love healing.

We all know about the commandment to not commit adultery but obviously we have not taken it very seriously. Why is that? Why are Christians committing adultery? It is because they are dispassionate Christians who have not learned, nor have been taught to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and that Christianity is a lifestyle. They do not know that the Kingdom of God is already here!

And the LORD God said, It's not good that man should be alone,
I will make him an helpmeet. Genisis 2:18

I want to add just a quick note of encouragement to those women whose husbands are having an affair and want to know what to do now. Ignore it by detaching from it. Many of you may be astonished to hear me say such a thing but the truth is you can't do anything about someone else's immoral character and beliefs. You need to be the example to your husband by showing him your walk in the Lord. Fussing and fighting with the adulterer is not going to get him to stop. WORK ON YOUR OWN HEALING!

Ask Angie: I forgave husband of infidelity and adultery now he won't talk to me nor sleep close to me what am I doing wrong?

Marriage Guidance: How can forgiveness be wrong? Forgiving others their trespasses against us is always the right thing to do, even if they continue trespassing against us. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". All you can do is your part in the marriage and it looks like you are attempting to do that by forgiving your husband. You didn't tell me if he has repented of adultery or not so I can only speculate that he has not.

Let's talk about ways in which we can heal ourselves and restore marriage after adultery.

Make God First in Marriage

I know it hurts. It hurts so bad we don’t want to forgive. The pain is unbearable at times and all we really want to do is get revenge, or keep wallowing in the pain that our feelings give us and remain resentful and angry. This is such a common problem in marriage today, so I feel it is worth more than rubies and gold to keep writing about it.

If you really want to save your marriage, you must start with a clean slate. That means to get rid of the worldly attitudes and practices that have polluted your marriage and follow God’s plan for your marriage instead. We’re so used to treating our marriage like everyone else does, or the way we were taught, or from what we think is the right way to handle it, but look where all that has gotten many of our marriages of today.

Do you want your marriage nursed back to health? If you want your marriage restored it will take some effort on your part. Stop peering over the fence at your neighbor, and put your eyes back in your own yard where they belong.

First, the offended spouse needs to forgive completely (see my article, forgive a cheating spouse), and secondly the offender has to understand why he strayed from the marriage bed in the first place. Infidelity is only a symptom of a greater problem within the framework of the marriage.

If you have been unfaithful or have anything else pulling you away from your spouse, ask yourself why? What am I doing that would cause me to be disloyal? Don’t blame your spouse for your weakness. Grow up and take responsibility.

Stop everything you’re doing and write down these principled ways for reconnecting and restoring the broken bonds with your spouse. Apply each of these principles every day until you have completed them all. Don’t worry about what your spouse will say or do, just do these steps for yourself and for God.

Forgive Your Spouse