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Jesus Waited for Me Despite My Years of Drinking and Smoking

I was born in Africa to missionary parents who wanted and loved me. They raised me in the church to believe in God. When I was 4 years old, we came to America and lived in the Southwest where my father was a minister, my mother a school teacher. There was only one thing "dysfunctional" in my childhood -- "Me". School work was easy, making superficial friends was easy (we moved around a lot). I was however, overweight and extremely self-conscious about that. I felt like I never fit in --. I became a rebel and the class clown to get attention. We moved to Indiana when I was 16. It was at that time that I dedicated my life to Jesus Christ but then - life happened and in the course of "finding myself" I gradually strayed away.

God Worked Powerfully in My Life

In the late sixties, long before I committed to follow the Lord, God delivered me from an intense IV Meth addiction. There were no withdrawal symptoms of any kind, I simply stopped.

In the mid-seventies, I lived in a hippie-type community in Pennsylvania. I smoked as many packs of cigarettes a day as I could get my hands on. Filtered or non-filtered, it didn't matter. When I ran out of cigarettes, I rolled my own with Blue Bugler, the cheapest package tobacco you could by at that time. I looked physically fit, but every morning, I woke up congested with phlegm and I could not walk up a flight of stairs without stopping several times to catch my breath.

Lisa and Gambling

Addiction is a powerful bondage that binds us to the sins of the world. It is an evil spirit that is sent by Satan into our lives to deceive us and destroy our lives ever so slowly. It is like a long, long line that he has hooked us with and is ever so slowly reeling us closer and closer. When you get close enough he has you in his grasp forever. All the fun that you thought you were having along the way is over and you live a life of hell.

Some people choose to commit suicide as they begin to feel the pain of his hook pulling and tugging them in. They kill themselves to try and escape the destruction that they feel in their lives. Little do they know that by pulling the trigger or popping the pills that they are caught for everlasting eternity and cast into hell. Satan smiles as he puts another soul into his net.

There are many types of bondage's or addictions in the world that Satan tries to hook us with: alcohol, drugs, sex, and gambling are some of the big ones. No matter what your addiction is, no matter how long you've been bound to it, it is not too late to get released and free from it. Don't let Satan reel you in any closer! Break free from that line and get away while you can! But you ask, "How?" How do you free yourself? Let me tell you. You cannot do it by yourself. You have to have help. You have to ask for help and then be willing to receive your rescue.

I was a gambler. That was my bondage. I was very addicted to the game. Horse races, casino's, the lottery, etc.

Alcohol, Homosexuality, Broken Family & Marriage - Christ Healed them All

It was Feb. 21 10:00A.M. I stood, outside my home, drinking orange juice mixed with white wine. Now days I was drinking a little over 1/2 gallon of wine per day. To say I was bewildered is an understatement. I felt numb or a better description is, I felt dead inside.

I had read every self help book around. I tried rejoining the church of my youth hoping their rule of total abstinence from alcohol might save me. It didn't. I was drinking more then ever and teaching Sunday school with a hangover. I was 40 years old and had now been drinking alcoholically for 20 years.

From Alcohol and Drugs to Jesus

At the age of 26 I became independent for the first time. That is when I started to abuse alcohol and drugs. Then in July my mother passed away. This was devastating for me and I was unable to cope with her death. I started go to the bars and hanging around with the wrong crowd. I did everything I could to make these people like me in order to try and fill the void that I was feeling. I even gave them money and so that they could use it to support there addiction while I was still supporting my own addiction. I let them use me so they would be my friends.

During these times I was drinking constantly and doing drugs which made me extremely suicidal. I started getting in trouble with the law because of the alcohol and drugs. I was also in and out of the hospital because I was drunk all the time and suicidal. There where many times I woke up and don't know how I got to where I was. In 1989 I started going in and out of the alcoholics anonymous program. Over time I tried many different recovery homes, but I always left the program. I was never ready to give up my addiction so none of these programs worked for me.

I Survived Sexual Abuse at the Hands of My Father

Hi. My name is Laura.

I have gone through an immense amount of healing, and would like to share it.

From the time I was 4 to the time I was 12, I was sexually abused by my father. His abuse was violent and varied, ranging from rape to bleach poisoning to gagging, choking, and tying me to the bed while abusing me.

When I went into counseling at age 14 for emotionally induced seizures, I could no longer stand it and had to tell someone. At that point, I was on the verge of a multiple personality disorder. I thought I belonged to the darkness and always would.

Living a Double Standard

My feelings of guilt and shame towards a same-sex attraction began at an early age. I experienced frequent sexual abuse from an older male friend during most of my teen years, and hustling for money soon followed.

Years later, I was baptized in a Mennonite Brethren church as a public declaration that I would follow Christ. My secret desire was that maybe now my attraction and sexual fantasies towards men would disappear. They didn't, and the fantasies soon turned into years of acting out behaviours.

I attended several MB churches in different provinces over the years, all the while living a double standard. I became addicted to cruising public places that were well-known to the gay community as places where homosexuals could meet for anonymous sex – a behaviour very typical of this community. Frequenting gay bars was a given.

Life in the gay community has been tumultuous and everything but a happy time. I would be in the arms of a lover on Saturday night and then actively participate in a worship service on Sunday morning. My life was such a lie – a secret I was able to maintain for many years.

I Moved Away from "Remaining in Him"

It all happened so quickly. I moved away from the "remaining in Him" part. Yes, I still believed that Jesus is the Son of God. It was the part about "doing as He says" that had become difficult. I chose to become detached from the Vine, and I shut myself off from friends, family, community and church.

After several weeks in this social vacuum, I knew something was not right inside. Feelings of abandonment and rejection began to trigger pain. My life spiraled into a hell of drugs, booze and sex. I started thinking about death. Part of me wanted to just call it quits, but another part knew that I had come too far to give up.

Then the songs started coming back. One of the songs was, "Love Lifted Me". The tears flowed as I repeatedly spoke the words. I was so thankful I had learned this song as a child so that now, years later, I could be blessed by it. When nothing else could help, the unfailing love of God kept lifting me. In faith, I repented of my sins and asked God to help me find the centre once again. I thanked Him for the close friends that I could reach out to.

I Prayed that God Would Get Out of My Life!

My name is Kelly. Here is something that happened to me that I hope blesses you....

In 1984 after struggling for years with pornography and masturbation, I was a youth pastor in the Midwest. Working for my brother the pastor. I fought and fought with my thoughts and finally went out in my car and purchased porn. Felt horrible and tired. I was so frustrated. I tried and tried to live a clean life and just failed over and over again.

"Damn, what is the point?" I asked myself. I then sat there alone in my room and calmly prayed a new prayer to God. This was a prayer that I've never prayed. I prayed that He would get out of my life. I prayed that I would not be a Christian any more. I prayed and boldly asked the Holy Spirit to leave.

Then I sat there alone in my room feeling even more alone. The desire for porn was gone and it felt that God was gone too. I didn't feel guilty but I did feel very alone.

Day after day I walked in an Oak grove talking with God. I didn't feel like a Christian anymore and it was a weird experience talking to him outside of the "family".

Kathie: I was a Miserable Alcohol, Drug and Food Addicted Woman

I was a miserable alcohol, drug and food addicted woman when God found me. He totally changed everything that I desired out of life. I never did drugs or alcohol after meeting Jesus, but I was still and addict, with all of the compulsive and destructive issues of control and manipulation. I transferred all of my disease to food and became an overeater.

God was patient with me (and still is) and by His grace led me to Food Addicts Anonymous and Christians in Recovery. I have 6 months in recovery and my walk has never been better. I am truly drug free for the first time in my life.

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