Info & Help, General Recovery

Step Four and PrayerPremium Content

The 4th Step, taking one’s own inventory, can be quite intimidating. But like many other things in our lives as Christians, it should be approached first and foremost in prayer.

Psalm 139:23-24 KJV
Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if [there be any] wicked way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

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Step 4 - Defensive Self-righteousness Premium Content

As you take inventory you will be tempted to become defensive. Our life patterns are part of us. When we start to look at them honestly for the first time in our lives, our immediate reaction is to dig in our heels and try to justify our past behavior.

In the fourth step you have to be relentlessly honest. You have to look at yourself objectively and refuse to defend anything that is wrong in your life (past or present). The first step out of your dark pit and into the light and victory starts with complete honesty.

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5 Ways To Give Up Improper HabitsPremium Content

I use the word “improper” because I hate using the word “bad”. Bad sounds evil or terrible, and some habits just aren’t that bad; they might be annoying but they are not bad. What improper habits do you have? We all have improper habits that we exhibit occasionally, especially with our spouse. For this particular article, I’m talking about the annoying little idiosyncrasies that we carry around on a daily basis that may or may not frustrate those we live with.

1. Identify Your Habits

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Forgiveness, Grace, and Sin

Romans 6:1-2, 6 NSRV
Should we continue in sin in order that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin go on living in it?... We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin.

TensionPremium Content

When you pull on opposite ends of a rope, you create tension. Same thing with life.

Tension’s mostly a good thing. In my experience, a lot of bad events occur when life gets out of balance and I operate at one extreme or another. Tension maintains some sort of healthy equilibrium.

We push to accomplish great things while we pray for patience to seek God’s timing.

We seek to understand as much as possible while knowing we’ll never really understand on this side of eternity.

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When You Have No Sponsor or Recovery BuddyPremium Content

It is OK Not to Have a Sponsor
Not everyone in recovery has a mentor all of the time. It is OK not to have a sponsor or recovery buddy! It is important for you to have a special rapport with the person who is going to be your recovery buddy or sponsor. Do not try to rush the process The more time you spend finding an appropriate person the more likely you will find someone who is a good listener and communicator. Not everyone is able or willing to commit to being a good sponsor. They may have other obligations that prevent them from being an effective mentor.

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Learning Not To Take OffensePremium Content

According to John Bevere in his book,The Bait of Satan, the bait of taking offense is the number one trap that the enemy – Satan – sets for Christians. And the closer the relationship between the people involved in the offense taken, the deeper the wound and the deeper the offense, as seen in the depth of David's suffering when he expresses his suffering after being betrayed by one near and dear to him in Psalm 55:

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Are You Choosing to Serve a Second Master?

When I was growing up, there was a TV show that my family watched called "I Dream of Jeannie." In this show, an astronaut (Tony) found a bottle and in it was a blond-haired genie named Jeannie. Tony would wish for something (or Jeannie thought he did), his wish would be granted, and then the problems began. Of course, like all Hollywood sitcoms, all came out well in 30 minutes (or less). But I wonder how many of us wish we had a genie’s three wishes . . . and if we did, what would we wish for?

1 John 2:15-17 NRSV

Dealing with Disappointment in Self

Disappointment in self
Who hasn't felt it?
Chatter of internal communication
Falls silent
Image of parent past
Comes to life
Bigger than life
Immovable
...and angry.
Visceral dread
Spreads.
Tightness in throat
Shallowness of breathing
Bowing of head
Awareness narrows
Awaiting arrows
Certainly deserved...

SURPRISE!!
It's a FEELING!!

Deep breath
Expanded focus
Gaze lifts
Shoulders relax
Honest reflection sorts wheat from chaff
Chatter begins
Balance restored
Everything flows
Decisions made
Self released...

Forgiveness is such a gift.

Can You Love in the Midst of Hate?

1 John 2:9-11 NRSV
Whoever says, "I am in the light," while hating a brother or sister, is still in the darkness. Whoever loves a brother or sister lives in the light, and in such a person there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates another believer is in the darkness, walks in the darkness, and does not know the way to go, because the darkness has brought on blindness.

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