Behavior that sabotoges successful management of our lives
Feeling the necessity to shut down feelings and to keep everything
inside. (As children we learned that expressing our own wants
and needs resulted in rejection. This in turn fueled intense
feelings of inadequacy. No matter how hard we tried things
only got worse). When we express our needs we risk being rejected.
low self esteem
insecurity, anxiety
Trying to save face rather than to acknowldge reality and
accept the consequences of our actions. Hiding from our
true feelings by staying "busy." By staying busy we allow
ourselves to ignore our true feelings and thus deny them.
Tendency to isolate
Need to be approved of by others. Being loyal to others
even when loyality is not deserved or warranted.
Easily intimidated by others.
confusing pity with love
giving in to others rather than taking care of our own
wants and needs.
loss of the ability to express our goals
allowing fear to rule our lives, instead of hope
overreaction to change when we have no control
Signs of Recovery
Growing trust of ourselves and others
Becoming more open and communicative
Willingness to reveal ourselves to others
Accepting the past and dealing with it honestly
Focusing on a new relationship with God, thereby eliminating the
obsessive need for other people's approval.
Reduction and/or elimination of all acting out behaviors
Instinctively knowing how to deal with situations that formerly baffled us
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