Rejection

I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I’m 36 now…

I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I’m 36 now. No one knows about this secret, except for the one person who was hosting the Same Sex Attraction (SSA) Meeting last night.

I feel as though the Holy Spirit came and held me and then whispered in my ears (and fingers) to share…to go ahead and get it off my quiet little mind.

I feel as though I experienced a miracle here at Christians in Recovery so that is why I want to share this with you… I think if I experienced a miracle in my life that I’m to share it with everyone here at cir…. because God has given me Christians in Recovery (CIR) in my life to help me grow and heal. It’s been a journey these past 3-4 years here.

I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I’m 36 now… Read More »

Living a Double Standard

My feelings of guilt and shame towards a same-sex attraction began at an early age. I experienced frequent sexual abuse from an older male friend during most of my teen years, and hustling for money soon followed.

Years later, I was baptized in a Mennonite Brethren church as a public declaration that I would follow Christ. My secret desire was that maybe now my attraction and sexual fantasies towards men would disappear. They didn’t, and the fantasies soon turned into years of acting out behaviours.

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Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.

Really? I think that innocent childhood adage should be revised. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words … can break my heart. Broken bones will mend, but surgery can’t heal a broken heart.

This week I’ve been thinking about criticism. I’ve discussed Criticism vs Feedback and Keys to Responding To Criticism. One additional thought seems crucial to the basic premise of SetFreeToday.

You might guess that an event in my own life has prompted this analysis, and you’d be correct. I’ve been watching someone close to me in a wrestling match with criticism disguised as feedback.

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Criticism vs. Feedback

    If you have no heart to change it, you have no right to criticize it.

I’m skeptical whenever someone wants to provide “constructive criticism.”

I think criticism is a passive-aggressive form of boasting, an easy way to attract attention while trying to appear concerned. Critics often claim that they’re trying to help, but the real intent is to find fault, to highlight some flaw or failure.

In a sadly transparent admission of impotence, the critic tries to cast himself as the expert and raise his perceived status by tearing down someone else. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn, and most fools do.”

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Who told you that?

After the fall, Adam began to explain to God how he was ashamed and afraid because he was naked. I love the way God responded:
Who told you that you were naked?” Genesis 3:11

Obviously Adam had been influenced, informed and instructed by a voice other than the voice of God. God was perturbed about it!
“You think you need to hide in shame and be afraid?
Who told you that?”

I wonder how many times God has the same objection when He hears the lies we believe:
Who told you that?

Who told you weren’t capable?
Who told you one little compromise wouldn’t hurt?
Who told you you’d never accomplish anything significant?
Who told you it was too late to start over?
Who told you that you couldn’t be forgiven?

Who told you that? Read More »

When Loved Ones Resent Your Recovery

It is not uncommon for those who start a new life in recovery to encounter resentment from their spouses, loved ones and/or friends. If this is the case, you will be put to the test by those who care for you most. This can be confusing because those who should be encouraging you in recovery are actually making it more difficult.

Your spouse may become resentful because you are spending more time at recovery meetings and less time with them. Stand strong and lovingly explain to your spouse that you need to take time for yourself in order to get your life back on track. Suggest that they come with you to open meetings where the loved ones are welcome so they can better understand your recovery process.

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What does the Bible say about suicide?

What does the Bible say about suicide?

The fact that God loves each person completely and individually is proven in Psalm 139:13, where it says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” He knows each one of us intimately and desires that each one of us spend eternity in His presence. His heart breaks over the pain we suffer in this life, but He promises us eternal life, free from all of life’s burdens, through Jesus Christ.

What does the Bible say about suicide? Read More »

Survival from Life’s Tragedies and Abuses Workshop – Transcript

note: Members can discuss this workshop in the Message Boards HERE

Welcome to the latest CIR Workshop: Survival from Life’s Tragedies and Abuses.

Each month CIR has a live workshop and discussion with a published author or expert in the Christian recovery field. The sessions are approximately one hour long: 1st part of the session the guest speaker will presents a premise or principles of their work and the 2nd part of the session you get a chance to ask questions and get answers with emphasis on life application in recovery.

Tonight our guest speaker is Jan Coates. She is the author of

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