Stormy Seas of Porn Addiction

written by a Porn Addict

Porn addiction is not temporary, marriage will not solve it. You cannot control a porn addiction! The addiction controls you! You can know your future (suspicion and investigations) and still not stop. There is nothing you can do. Only something that someone else (God) can do in you. You have a better chance of winning the lottery than you do of beating this addiction on your own. You need the Trinity and you need the support of family and friends.

In my estimation, porn addiction can be likened to a trip that you think is going to start out as an innocent day trip of excitement and relaxation.

Let me see if I can explain it in a way that isn't too confusing.

A creek that grows into a raging, whitewater river (signs posted to no avail) ... that empties out into a vast and deep ocean ... more "Watch Out" and "Danger" signs posted ... there are blood-thirsty ... death and hell-bent sharks out there!

It was a very slow moving creek when I first stepped into the world of sex addiction 30 years ago. It was really just more of a trickle of water, a puddle. I just dipped my toe in at first. It felt good. Now, I figured that it was sin. But would my just dipping my toe in the cool water be so bad for just a little while? Would it lead to spiritual death? I certainly did not expect that it would.

I still memorized scripture. I still went to church. I still went to Sunday School. I still went to the Wednesday night service. I still prayed. I still led Bible studies. I still witnessed to people. I still tithed. I still read Christian books and listened to Christian music. I still shopped at Christian book stores. I still talked the talk. I still spoke Christianese. I worked in a church for goodness sake.

Sure ... some concerned Christian (Lifeguard I suppose) had posted a sign out there that said "No Swimming" ... However, I told myself, "Just a quick dip can't hurt ... can it?"

My diving off point was in the part of the creek called "Penthouse". To me it was exciting. I thought that if I stayed only in this creek called "Penthouse" that I would be fine. As the creek branched out and emptied out into larger creeks, I thought that I had to make a conscious decision or choice to go from "Penthouse" to "Soft-core porn" and hence, turn my course from one tributary down into the larger, faster moving tributary of the latest deviant behavior that piqued my interest.

When I went from "soft-core" to hard-core" and then from "straight" sex to "fetishes", I again thought that I was making a conscious decision or choice to go from "Straight hard-core" to "Fetish hard-core". Again, from "Fetish hard-core" to "Deviant hard-core".

How wrong I was! It really is all the same. If you start wading in the creek of "Penthouse", you WILL end up drowning in the "Deviant Ocean" of selfish and self-centered sin. As the "not so bad" creek empties out into the swelling (almost to flood stage), deviant river, you will encounter some rough patches of ''whitewater sins". From there it empties out into the deep ocean where you might take up reading sex stories and engaging in dangerous, sexually charged chats with all manner of people of all races, ages, sexes, origins, nationalities, different jobs, economic and social backgrounds.

Again, it might seem exciting. You might have moved from looking at pornographic pictures and videos to erotic stories. For me, this was a bad move. You see, for many years, I was able to see myself in place of the man in those pornographic sex pictures and sex videos. However, after about 15 years, I just could tell for sure that it wasn't me, the fantasy was gone, and the man looked nothing like me. However, with erotic stories, my mind could easily pick up the fantasy again and place myself back in the running to "score" with these sex starved ladies.

From there, my life got worse. I discovered chatting. Stories were bad enough, now once I started chatting what had I done? I had placed myself directly in those fantasies for I was no longer a voyeur nor just a reader. I was a participant. The only thing left would be for me to act out on my fantasies in real life.

For those of you that were raised as Christians, you will find yourselves compromising the Christian values of your upbringing. You might even see it as a game and act as a Pestilent Teacher and Tempter of others. In this ocean of sin and sex addiction, you will wind up being caught in the deadly undertows, fast moving rip currents and water spouts that will drag you down to your spiritual death.

The only, I repeat, the ONLY choice (or conscious decision) once you've entered the creek of "Penthouse" or whatever your diving off point was, is to repent, get saved, choose Jesus, choose to get healthy, choose life and choose to get out of the dangerous seas. Jesus is your life preserver. Jesus will walk on the dangerous waters to rescue you and calm the winds and calm the storms of sinful choices on your part and from your past. Grab a hold of Jesus and never let Him go.

Psalm 23 There is a more gentle river. A peaceful stream. He leadeth me beside the still waters.

~ Chuck C

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