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The Real Power Of ForgivenessPremium Content


To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. Lewis Smedes

I wrote an article advancing a revolutionary notion: Forgiveness isn’t... easy.

No kidding.

We all struggle to forgive when we’ve been hurt. That’s sort of obvious.

So here’s a question: If it’s so hard, why bother? Why go to all the trouble of forgiving?

Why not get revenge? Why shouldn’t I make that other person suffer? Why just let it go and let him get away with it?

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Forgiveness isn't EasyPremium Content

forgive Forgiveness isn't easy. When someone hurts me, my natural reaction is not forgiveness. How can I forgive something this bad?

Have you ever heard (or asked) that question?

Forgiveness isn’t our first impulse. We’ve all been hurt, and “letting it go” isn’t programmed into our menu of responses. We want to fight back, to hurt the one who hurt us.

The common phrase “don’t get mad, get even” sounds clever, but there’s really no such place as “even.” Revenge only perpetuates a hurtful cycle. To paraphrase Ghandi, eye for eye and tooth for tooth leaves us with a world full of toothless blind people.

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Why Does Violence Happen?Premium Content

have you or a loved one been affected by violence? Learn why it happens and how to overcome its ramifications.

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Depression and No Self-worth

I've struggled and been in horrible, depressing bondage most of my life because I had no concept of self-worth and somehow that became tied to my appearance. I've struggled since a young teen with BDD, "body dysmorphic disorder", a totally disabling disorder where the person sees themselves as so ugly and hideously deformed, they feel they have no right to even be alive and fear to be around others. I eventually turned to drink as my 'coping mechanism" because that was the only way I could be around others and feel somewhat human. I'd been in and out of the hospital 7 times and had seen more Dr's and taken more meds (often while still drinking) than I can remember. I even had shock therapy to try and overcome the overwhelming depression and hatred for myself.

The Need To Be RightPremium Content


Am I the only one who struggles with the need to be right?

Actually, that’s not quite correct. My real issue involves needing others to acknowledge that I’m right.

I get passionate about something, an idea, a cause, a program—nothing wrong with that. But the next thing you know I’m immersed in a knockdown argument with someone who disagrees. I perceive it, but I can’t let it go. Just one last comment, one more tweet, and my desire for the last word becomes an endless series of “one more” responses.

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Revenge is for God, Not Us

Proverbs 20:22 NRSV
Do not say, "I will repay evil";
wait for the Lord, and He will help you.

Have you ever been misunderstood? Of course. We all have. We have done something or said something and our intentions just didn't communicate well. Beyond that, have you ever made a mistake, one that ended up costing or hurting someone else? Again, of course! We all have made those mistakes, the actions or choices we regret and wish that we could have changed.

I Have Learned....

The following quote contains "principles for Christian living" that are taken mostly from the 'wisdom' literature of the bible: Proverbs and Ecclesiastes.

It is impossible for one to live right, or to have wholesome
relationships, without following Scriptural principles.

I'VE LEARNED that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved...
The rest is up to them.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I'VE LEARNED that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want to, doesn't mean they don't love you
with all they have.

Anger FAQPremium Content

The following questions and their answers link to the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (BGEA) web site. This does not imply an endorsement of BGEA and its related ministries by CIR or visa versa.

We're believers and attend church, but when my husband gets angry he sometimes hits me. What should I do?

I don't see what's wrong with being angry at someone, as long as you don't hurt them or anything like that.

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Recovery from Abuse and Life's Hardships Workshop - TranscriptPremium Content

note: Members can discuss this workshop in the Message Boards HERE

Jan Coates is our guest speaker this evening. She is the author of
Set Free: God's Healing Power for Abuse Survivors and Those Who Love Them

After she is finished speaking we will open the floor up to questions from the audience. Enjoy!

SETFREE:

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