Alcohol, Info & Help

Talking to the Children About the Alcoholic Parent

I grew up in an alcoholic environment, but no one ever told me that my step dad was an alcoholic; I thought it was normal for people to drink 10 beers every night. After all he went to work every day, early in the morning and never missed a day of work. How can that be an addiction? Many alcoholics get up early every morning and go to work, have families, and even go to church and profess to be Christian, but none of that can take the addiction away from them -- it only gives them justification to continue to drink.

Detaching From the Alcoholic

Ask Angie: Hi Angie, I was reading your article titled "Do You Love an Alcoholic - Setting Boundaries for You". I'd like to follow these suggestions, but I have some questions. How long should I detach myself before I should move out? We have two kids (3 and 5). How do I go about detaching when we all live together? Should I move me and my kids out for a while? How do I explain to them what's going on?

Marriage Guidance:

How Long Should I Detach Before Moving Out?

I Just Can't Stop! How to Overcome Addiction

If you just can't stop your addiction or behavior this booklet will help.

Denial Needs to Go

Denial is actually a defense mechanism implemented to protect us, to keep the mind solvent in lieu of perceived danger. It's a form of personalized reframing, neuro-linguistic manipulation meant to increase survivability. Yet many of us turn it into a catalyst which allows us to continue our voluntary journey into perdition.

Denial is the ability to lie to one's self in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It is the ability to delude one's self with reasonable to superb success. Only when denial diminishes does character take root.

And, once again, character is identified and maintained by one's personal beliefs.

Healing Alcoholism

To everyone, who is afflicted by the insidiousness of alcohol. Please share this important information with the alcoholic you love and work together to overcome addiction to alcohol. Addiction is a family affair and that means the whole family should be involved in the process of its healing in all areas, physical, emotional and spiritual.

How Alcoholism Controls Your Life

It happens without warning. It creeps into your life and all of a sudden, you’re hooked. At first you’re the life of the party, and later you’re the drunk of the party. When you’re young, twenties and thirties, your body can handle all the booze, no problem. But mentally it impairs the way you view and feel the world around you.

Most of the time, alcoholics don’t know that alcohol has taken hold of their life. This is called the denial stage. Alcoholics feel if they can get up and go to work everyday, even though secretly they have an excruciating headache, they don’t have a problem.

But what keeps the alcoholic going throughout the workday is in knowing that after work, they’ll have those highballs or beers, which will in fact; make them feel like their old self again.

Dealing with Resentment When Living with and Loving an Alcoholic

Question: After 30 years of marriage to an alcoholic even as a believer I struggle with resentment towards my husband. I know that is as great a sin as the alcoholism, which leaves me feeling like I am no better than he. This causes me to freeze up when it comes to asking God for healing in his life and I feel all bottled up unable to even pray. Most of the time all I can do is cry as I have begun right now. God gives me peace daily and I know HE loves me personally. I do feel isolated as going to church I can't participate in married functions nor do I qualify for singles events. The Lord gave me 6 children that have filled my life with busy years of which are about over.

Sexual Intimacy With Alcoholic Husband: Setting Personal Boundaries

Question: I am having a really hard time deciding on appropriate boundaries for me and what would be in his best interest as well. I have explained in the past that my husband is typically much sweeter when he has drank and easier to get along with, unless a conflict arises. Most evenings he will have a few beers before he comes home from work (I'm not sure how many) and whenever we have date nights he orders a few beers or margaritas. We went to a Christian marriage counselor in the past and he was helping us come up with a compromise in this area. He thought a good one would ask my husband to limit his drinks to two when we are out on a date or a social gathering or whatever. Do you think this is a good boundary or should I require no drinking when we are out together?

Finding Work after Recovery

When you begin to make serious permanent life changes, and you have been unemployed, look for work that will honor you as you honor work. When you do the kind of work that you have a passion for, it starts with working on yourself. You have the capacity to get a good job. So many people in early recovery will just settle for any type of work because they are thinking through the filter of negative thinking. It is true that you might have to work because of a court or other legal mandate. Whether you are in that situation or not, you can still find work that has longevity and brings you great pleasure and satisfaction.

Dr. Bob's Wife Anne Smith, Early AAs, and Jesus Christ

A few contemporary writers, biographers, and historians have done their best to distance A.A., AAs, and the fellowship newcomers from the Bible, God, His Son Jesus Christ, and the gift of the Holy Spirit. Some Christian critics load their writings with verses from the Bible and dire warnings to AAs and others. But seldom have they taken the time to learn, and rarely to quote, the clear-cut beliefs of the early AAs in the Creator, His Son Jesus Christ, the Bible, and even the Holy Spirit. Indeed, it is sad to see how quickly and emphatically the critics claim that the early A.A. pioneers did not believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, that they didn't emphasize Jesus Christ and him crucified, and that they did not emphasize a relationship with Jesus Christ.

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