Regeneration

Everlasting to Everlasting

An awesome expanse by unrighteous unrippled
Senseless in sense that senses can't pry
The secrets
Souls defenseless, crippled
Crumple, defeated and fate decry.

Hope


Slippery hope
Snaking horizon
Passionately pursued
Difficult to hold.

If caught...what joy!
New vision! New life!
Vitality bursts
Quenches all thirsts.

But still, in feast,
A niggling doubt,
Will wriggling hope
Abruptly leave?

Hearts afire
Often doused
When death and loss
Their loved ones cleave.

Hope cocooned
Kept for this time
Released by incisions
Fate's cuts unkind.

It splits the horizon
That dams Life from death
Floods desert eyes
With visions of bliss.

No longer slippery
Or threatened by loss
This Hope is alive
Though death exhaust.

Conviction

Conviction
Conversion
Contrition
Immersion
In Grace
Faith
Displaces
Diversions.

Beating the Monster Inside

ultimately I want to help other people with my writing
to beat the monster inside that we are constantly fighting
and hiding afraid to find someone for help to confide in
showing some true feelings for once in our life relying
on someone else feeling hopeless we're unable to solve this
problem living this life addicted and alcoholic
say what you want to say, call it what you want to call it
but I am who I am and that means I am involved
it's not a questions it's a fact this disease calls for devotion
to others sick like me powerless but still hopin'
for some light someone to fight prying their minds open
to recovery Higher Power providing that explosion
of emotion shown everything that we had took for granted
people we took advantage in this life we thought we managed

Does Your Life Need Transforming?

You can Experience a Transformed Life! Learn how using Biblical principles.

Depression and No Self-worth

I've struggled and been in horrible, depressing bondage most of my life because I had no concept of self-worth and somehow that became tied to my appearance. I've struggled since a young teen with BDD, "body dysmorphic disorder", a totally disabling disorder where the person sees themselves as so ugly and hideously deformed, they feel they have no right to even be alive and fear to be around others. I eventually turned to drink as my 'coping mechanism" because that was the only way I could be around others and feel somewhat human. I'd been in and out of the hospital 7 times and had seen more Dr's and taken more meds (often while still drinking) than I can remember. I even had shock therapy to try and overcome the overwhelming depression and hatred for myself.

I Was Saved, But I Had Lost the Joy

Before I joined Christians in Recovery is was becoming very introverted, I was saved but had lost the joy. I had allowed myself to become very self centered, due to many stressful situations in my life.

When I discovered CIR I found so many caring people filled with the love of Christ and just wanting to help anyone who asked. It made me stop and think, that's what it's all about not just recovery but Christianity, helping and encouraging each other, I can see the light of God shining through so many people here.

There was no Hope for Me

No-one wanted to deal with me. I was a lost cause to all, that is except for God.

I have been told by many to remain silent. That God would not use a person such as what I was. That miracles do not happen now-a-days, and on and on. It's not understood, so I guess it isn't to be mentioned. That sentiment has came from numerous local believers & church leaders as well as from the majority, seemingly, from the twelve step community here.

But I am not to remain silent. I must serve God rather than man regardless of what others think or believe. I feel inadequate enough, and there is no time for hate and debate. Bill W. had one.

Twenty Two Years of Living Hell

I had been saved and baptized at the age of 13. I was pulled away from my relationship I had with Jesus because of lack of knowledge, sin and not keeping up with prayer and reading my Bible. I had been involved with a couple of seances and Ouija boards with some friends even though I hadn't believed in them or worshiped that kind of thing. I only did it to go along with my friends and actually thought it was all rigged. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening! Shortly after I had been saved I had been visited by satan in my bedroom. I believe that night his demons had attached themselves to me because within a short period of time after that night there was such a sudden change in my behaviour and moods that it was thought that there was something medically wrong.

Drinking Controlled Me

I have come to the point in my life where I realize that I am an alcoholic. I fought that at first.

I prayed heaps - asked God for signs and miracles - he gave me heaps.

I wanted to control my drinking - it controlled me.

I went to a "secular" counselor. I hated him. He challenged me about my faith. I hated that even more.

In the end, desperate, I gave my problem to God. I clung on to the text from
"those who wait upon the Lord shall walk and not faint . . ." - that's all I wanted but our gracious God is enabling me to rise up with eagle's wings. I have days of rebellion and struggle but God is faithful.

Praise his name.

~ Sue

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