Healing

Untangling Fear and Anger When Abused

I've had experience with the "or else" fear mentality of anger. Coming from abuse, it was difficult to feel anger and love coexisting simultaneously. Years later, as an adult, it's still been a challenge to untangle the two.

And, in my eating disorder recovery, I've frequently encountered individuals who have also been plagued with the struggle of anger versus love. Most of the time, in talking with young girls and women, if there's ever been a disagreement, they often view it as me "hating" them, all of a sudden. Not true.

Even if/when I'm angry about something, it's not hatred. But, because of the importance subscribed to approval, unless there is an overjoyed, enthusiastic "yes response," rejection, hatred and all manner of negative conclusions are viewed to be the only result.

We have gotten the anger thing quite twisted. Scripture tells us anger will come. How we respond to it is the greater.

Be ye angry, and sin not Ephesians 4:26

Easier said than practiced, I know. But I think a key to it is recognizing anger does not equal hatred/loss of love. We can be angry and love fiercely at the same time.
Someone once said the opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference. Good point.

Freedom from Bondage

We celebrate our nation's freedom yet there are so many people who are still in bondage. They are in bondage to schedules, deadlines, television, sports, alcohol, drugs, sex, profanity, and all the other things that come before Jesus and keep them from serving Him and spending time with Him as He has commanded us to do. He has told us that we should have no other gods before Him. However all too often we allow things that will one day mean nothing come before Him and our service to Him.

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Matthew 6:24-26, 33-34 King James Version

The Truth Shall Set You Free, part 10

This study was done during the last semester of my teaching career. A lot of things were on my mind. The letter of resignation had been written and accepted. I was starting to have dialogs with different campus constituencies about an orderly exit regarding pension, health plans, etc. I met my successor but stayed out of the process of his selection. I got an early start on cleaning out the office. I wanted an orderly exit so that on the last day of my tenure as a teacher, I would walk out and not return.

The Truth Shall Set You Free, part 9

John 8:31-32 is a conditional statement. Jesus says if we continue in His word, we will be His disciples. We will know the truth, and the truth will set us free. The key words are: “if”, “continue”, “truth”, and “free.”

If we abide in, stay with, live out and proclaim His word through our attitudes and actions, we will know His truth and we will be free.

Do You "Prompty Admit It" When You are Wrong?

The very first time that
I ever saw and read all the 12 Steps,
I have to say that it really was love at first sight.
It was like, Wow! Where have you been all my life?
I simply fell in love with the 12 Steps,
and since that first time, I have gone from
strength to strength and never really looked back.

I do recollect that the step which caught my
attention most of all that very first time, was Step 10.
And the phrase in Step 10, which caught my attention
was "promptly admitted it"

For years I had grown up and been around adults
who found it very hard to admit they were wrong.
In fact I don't re-call any adult relatives as I was

"Pill Cures Alcoholism and Addiction!" Really?

The BBC recently reported: France abuzz over alcoholic 'cure'. French cardiologist Oliver Ameisen says that baclofen, a muscle relaxer, can cure alcohol and cocaine addictions.

Take a pill to cure your addiction. It sounds too good to be true.

How much sense does it make?

Is addiction simply a craving for a substance or thing? If that is the case, the pill will cure it. Unfortunately, addiction is not just a craving. It is a complex malady of the mind, body and spirit. To treat the physical craving only, is to ignore the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of addiction and dysfunctional living.

Signs of Needing Recovery

Signs of needing Recovery

  • Behavior that sabotages successful management of our lives
  • Feeling the necessity to shut down feelings and to keep everything inside. (As children we learned that expressing our own wants and needs resulted in rejection. This in turn fueled intense feelings of inadequacy. No matter how hard we tried things only got worse). When we express our needs we risk being rejected.
  • low self esteem
  • insecurity, anxiety
  • Trying to save face rather than to acknowledge reality and accept the consequences of our actions. Hiding from our true feelings by staying "busy." By staying busy we allow ourselves to ignore our true feelings and thus deny them.
  • Tendency to isolate
  • Need to be approved of by others. Being loyal to others even when loyalty is not deserved or warranted.
  • Easily intimidated by others.
  • confusing pity with love
  • giving in to others rather than taking care of our own wants and needs.

Our Incredible Temples (The Challenge of Taking Care of Our Bodies)

Scripture tells us we are the Temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16).

With that said, therefore, taking care of our Temple, known as our physical bodies, seems to be one of the greatest challenges. I know it has been for me.

In my book, "Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder," I chronicle my struggles through all kinds of dysfunction, disordered eating and harmful mindsets. Eventually I descended into anorexia, bulimia and binge eating, often displaying extreme food restriction and over-exercise behaviors. I saw food and exercise through unhealthy, punishing and dangerous filters and extremes. I either ate nothing or everything; I either did no exercise whatsoever or I punished myself with six grueling hours of it every day. There was no moderation, no healthy approach, just torment, fear, guilt, desperation and hopelessness.

What Does Healed from Homosexuality Mean Anyway?

When I say I'm ex-gay, people often stare at me with that same suspicious look, usually reserved for people who:

    A. Claim to have seen Elvis' ghost enjoying a Value Meal at McDonalds
    B. Testify they were abducted by aliens and forced to have sex with them in a corn field.
    C. Promise you will make millions of dollars and retire by age 35 simply by placing one tiny ad in a newspaper from the convenience of your own apartment.

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